The Chalkboard Project

I started my chalkboard project the other day.  I decided just to label it 0, 1, 2, 3 (hopefully 4, 5, 6...) weeks.  It kind of went with the other idea.    I started out with a brief history of the infertile me (and a little Bean).  I have a much longer list on the timeline page if anyone is interested.

That's it for now.

-Selbe

Post-Op & Planning Appointment 11/3

The Surgery:

It went well.  I recovered quickly and he didn't even look at my stomach at the appointment.  I guess the stitches (?) is suposed to fall off or go away on it own.  I've never actually had stitches before.

RE talked about the same things from the pictures before.  

Right Fallopian Tube:  Eh but he's not too concerned the risk of an ectopic pregnancy.

Uterus:  I have an hyperplastic endometrium.  Not too much of a concern though.  The biopsy of it came back normal.

"a condition of excessive proliferation (cell growth) of the cells of the endometrium (inner lining of the uterus.)...

...result from high levels of estrogens, combined with insufficient levels of the progesterone-like hormones which ordinarily counteract estrogen's proliferative effects on this tissue. This may occur in a number of settings, including obesity, polycystic ovary syndrome, estrogen producing tumours and certain formulations of estrogen replacement therapy." - Wikipedia

Cervix:  I also have cervical stenosis as "very little normal cervix was remaining" and it was a bitch to dilate.  This was already assumed for awhile.  My cervix is scarring over and the opening is very narrow.  This is why cramps are so painful to me and my HSG was a trip from hell.  It's complements of my LEEP in 2005 and 2009, but mainly the second one.  It's a rare risk of having a LEEP done but of course my body loves to be "rare".  I forgot to ask Dr. H about the possibility of having an cervical cerclage put in if I do get PG.  The actual thought of having my cervix stitched closed terrifies me so we will put that thought off for awhile.  FYI a cervical cerclage is used in women that have a incompetence.  The cervix begin to dilate way before it should, maybe times due to the weight of the growing baby.  It results in miscarriage or early labor.  The cervix is stitched closed around 14 weeks and the stitches are removed around 37 weeks.

Ovaries, left fallopian tube and vagina are all good.  Fuck something semi works.  

What's Next?:

I have CD21 Progesterone BW next Monday.  I need to have at least a 3.3 to have ovulated, even if it's a crappy ovulation.  No 1.7!  A 10 is ideal for a non-medicated cycle.  (It was 15 when I was Clomid or if I'm on any other drugs.)

And then I need to decide, ovulation or not.  No ovulation then Provera will be my buddy again.  

Source

Dr. H began talking about doing an IUI (intrauterine insemination).  It's a couple types of shots and then Bean's sperm is poured into my uterus once I've ovulated.  My cervix hates me and I fear having another tube stuck up it, even though the RE assures me it is much smaller than the one for the HSG.  The cost is between $2000-2500 which will not include my meds, an additional $500.  But spending $3000 does not 100% get me a baby, only about a 17% of one.  So odds are I'll need multiple which is $3000 each cycle/month.  

And then there is IVF.  We are not even going to get into that because each cycle costs $12,000.  Again no 100% guarantee.  But if I buy two (results in BFN) then the third if free.  How nice of them!  If I spend $24k I'd better get a lot for free, along with a free crib, stroller and all the other stuff.  We can just pretend like this doesn't exist for now, like the cerclage I'll probably need.

My insurance will NOT cover any of my meds used for an IUI or IVF.  In fact they will even refuse to pay for basic U/S and BW.  They want no part of it.  (Then again my infertile ass is expensive, I don't want to pay for me ether.)  But they will cover my meds for timed intercourse (TI).

So for TI it is the same meds and monitoring as an IUI.  Except when I ovulate I have sex like a normal person, you know penis in the vagina, no tube of sperm in the uterus.  I'd like it to be as normal as possible.  This has a lower success rate but then again it's a lot cheaper.  

The meds I'd use for the TI (or IUI) are:

Gonal-f RFF Pen 450 IU @ 75iu/day - Daily injection used for ovulation induction (OI) with FSH hormone from CD4 for a week or two.  This makes my ovaries produce lot 'o eggs.  This is much like Clomid but for those who don't do so well on it.  I can't wait to stab myself in my stomach!

Ovidrel - Once injection of HCG hormone for my ovaries to drop all the eggs.  I'll be monitored with several U/S to see when my eggs have fully matured with Gonal, then this shot is used.  

I might be on Progesterone also to reduce the risk of MC since my body doesn't produce enough of it on its own.

The injectables come with a higher risk of multiples.  I'm pretty sure it made Bean worry a bit when the nurse said that.  But it's a 10% chance of twin, and much lower for triples and so on.  She let him know there wouldn't be six which I'm sure he was picturing in his head.  To be honest we are both pretty excited for twinkies!

Decision:

I'm going to see what the Progesterone comes back as.  If it's good then I'll hang out on Vitex and hope to be normal for awhile longer.  Or I'll move to TI with the injectables.  If it's too low then I'll definitely be moving to TI.

I'm not ready for IUI.  We have the money but I feel I haven't had enough time having natural sex to have given it a good shot.  I've been having unprotected sex for over a year but very rarely have my ovaries actually released eggs.  And a couple my age only has 20% change each time with perfect timing.  

I'm also waiting to move since our new home (hopefully) has an Army base that does IVF at a discounted rate and includes the drugs.  

Bean is most likely going to be sent back out to sea in the spring.  I can do IUI and IVF while he is gone with his frozen sperm.  I'm going to use the "fresh" stuff now.

If TI works:

I'll have BW for check my betas (PG test) 14dpo after each TI cycle.

I will stay at my RE until 8-14 weeks before being sent to an OBGYN.  My first fetal U/S will be at 6 weeks, then one or two more at a later date before going to the OBGYN.

-Selbe 

CD19, 4dpo

Lap Surgery

Before

My Laparoscopic Surgery and Hysteroscopy was yesterday morning.  It went good and eh.

October 25th - Surgery arrival time set at 7:30AM.  Then changed to 8:30.

October 26th - Surgery arrival time changed to 6:30AM.

October 27th 5:30 :45AM - Wake up.

6:00AM - In the car.  Downpouring, again.  It's only really rained hard twice in the past two weeks, both on my surgery days.

6:30 - Arrive at surgery center & check in.

6:50 - Called into back room, changed into my gown and slipper socks.

Before

7:00 - I'm given a chair.  Hooked up to heart monitor, blood pressure machine & took my temperature.  98.1°F this time, woo hoo!

7:20 - IV goes in.  I'm in pain because the tie is super tight around my arm to get my vein to pop out, the two needles they put in me were nothing.  Bean honestly looked like he was in more pain watching it go in.  (Then again this is my third time having an IV, he's never had one put in, & has a fear of needles. Good thing I'm the IF one & goes though all this shit.)

7:40 - RIP navel ring.  They made me take it out, well Bean did since I couldn't being being hooked up to everything.  They originally said to put it in right after, then I few days later.  Then when I woke up I heard something about infected (but I was really out of it.) So we'll see.

7:50 - They walk me into the room where my surgery is done.  I'm told to hop up on the bed and put my butt above the hole in it.  Both my arms of put off to the sides.  Things start to get "drunk", AKA blurry & I start laughing.  The Dr. tells me he already gave me one type of med.  A mask is put over my face & I'm told to breath. Few second later I was out.

8:50 - I began to wake up in the room I started with, except a bed not a chair.  Everything is so blurry & Bean comes in.  I'm given ginger ale but can't find the straw.

After

9:00 - Dr. H comes over to show me the photos, said some stuff put I was way too out of it.

9:20 - Told I need to pee before I leave & it might burn since a catheter was inserted. It only burned a little but there was tons of blood.  Bean helped me change back into my normal clothes & I'm given a seat in the chair again.

9:30 - Dr. H came & explained the photos again.

9:40 - Released & heading home.

10:10 - Told Bean I was nauseous on the way home, I threw up twice in the car.

10:30 - Home & in bed.  I slept on & off 'til 1, but couldn't sleep anymore since I had to pee every 20 minutes thanks to the IV fluids.

I'm in less pain than I thought.  My stomach is sore but it has stopped cramping.  My throat is sore from the tube they put down it.  My pee is still burning.  But overall I'm up and moving around.  I've gone up and down stairs, walked around two shopping stores tonight, and I'm eating solid foods.  I was prescribed Ibuprofen and Oxycontin for the pain, but so far I've only taken the Ibuprofen once.  My biggest issue and they fill you with gas to expand the abdomen.  This gas tend to rise up to the shoulders and cause pain, which it hasn't yet.  Plus the swelling.  My stomach feels so big (and hard).  I could probably pass as having an early pregnancy.

You are probably wondering how it went, so...

Cervix - Almost completely gone due to both my LEEPs.  I mentioned this before.  I'm wondering if this 100% sets me up for needed a cervical cerclage?  RE has to dilate it a lot to get the tube past the scar tissue and into my uterus.

Uterus - Normal but showed abrasions (the red marks)?  He said since I go so long between AF that this can happen.

Left Fallopian Tube - Normal.  Open & nothing wrong.

Right Fallopian Tube - Not normal.  It was open so they didn't have to unblock it.  But there was a lot of scar tissue, it was enlarged & very twisted.  This increases my risks of ectopic pregnancy by a lot.  Not sure if this means I skip IUI & head to IVF instead.  But since it's not block they left it as is.

Ovaries - Normal.  I'm assuming they are the blue/white things in the photos.  My tubes are also blue in colour due to the dye they used.

Liver - Normal.  Not sure why they gave me a photo of it.  But I guess I haven't drank it to death yet.

Vagina - Doing amazing like always.  Kind of sad I can't have sex or even take a bath for a week since my cervix with dilated.

My post-op appointment is next Thursday, which is also my "what to do with me appointment."  SA was done, HSG Lap Surgery done, BW done, U/S done.  I can now move forward with treatment.  And paying big money for what the other 99% of the population gets for free.  

CD12