Moving

Some changes in my life.  I might be moving over here:  http://notsobrokenbird.blogspot.com

-Selbe

Memory Book

My book came in the mail the other day.  Thought I would post some pictures of it. 

Cover

Telling Bean

Recap of the Year

The positive:  I've had more cycles this year than I've had in the past eight or so.  Between my PCOS, being drugged with birth control as birth control, and being drugged with birth control to "fix" me, I average about 4 cycles a year.  Which I probably never ovulated during.  The feminine hygiene products I've had to buy this year, wow.  I usually buy a box and I'm set for a year or two.  Fuck I still have stuff in my bathroom that is 5 or 10 years old that I need to go through and throw out.   

Cycle #1 - March 16th

First cycle off birth control to regulate my cycle, not as birth control.  Last time I was on birth control as birth control... I don't remember when that was.  But I did do a shot of Depo-Provera while my husband was deployed in 2009/2010.  Then realized that was a silly idea since Bean wasn't home anyways.  It was a spur of the moment idea while I was at Planned Parenthood for something else.  After Depo wore off and I got my period Bean was home.  We didn't try at pregnancy, or really prevent it.  After a couple months I decided to try and figure out when I ovulate.  However, my cycle was 7 months long which is not uncommon for me.  After a few useless doctors visits I decided to ask my new OBGYN for Clomid, something I read about on the Internet for women like me.  Clomid 50mg it was.  CD14, CD18, CD20 came and gone with no positive OPK.  I was given Provera to end the cycle.  No ovulation. My due date for this cycle was December 23rd, 2011.

Cycle #2 -  April 24th

I'm increased to Clomid 100mg.  I got a positive OPK around CD16, but it didn't result in pregnancy.  I got my period on my own.

Cycle #3 - May 22nd

Clomid 100mg again.  Another positive OPK for CD18.  But no pregnancy.  Period again arrived on it's own.  This is better than nothing.  My due date was February 29, 2011, Leap day.  It's sad I still remember all these due dates.

Cycle #4 - June 22nd

This is going to be my month!  Clomid 100mg again.  But no positive OPKs and my progesterone results came back extremely low.  My body stopped responding to 100mg.  More Provera for me.

Cycle #5 - July 29th

Increased to 150mg.  Ovulation scheduled for during our vacation, great!  Except my body also stopped responding to 150mg also.  I'm given Provera again and sent away to an RE.  An OBGYN can no longer help these ovaries.

Cycle #6 - September 16th

Lots of testing, no real baby making.  I started a herbal drug called Vitex expecting it not to work, 'til I surprisingly got my period after 31 days.

Cycle #7 - October 17th

More Vitex but no baby making due to lap surgery during around the time of ovulation.  However I got a positive OPK and the progesterone blood work came back great.

Cycle #8 - November 16th

Decides to give Vitex some more time before moving on to injectable like RE suggested.  Results in a BFP right before Christmas with a due date for August 25th, 2012.  Baby's heartbeat was lost about a month later.  

Cycle #9 - January 26th - Current

If the ovulation date I have is correct then I should get my period on February 29th.

-Selbe

Random Update

15dpo:  Test line lighter than control.

18dpo: Beta #86.  Test line slightly lighter still.

20dpo: Beta #251.  Test & control line same.

26dpo:  Test line way darker than control.

Darker the line = higher hCG hormone = higher beta... hopefully.

-Selbe

5wk, 5days

POAS #2

I held my pee in from 4-10:30pm.  That's hard for me, I always have such a weak bladder.

First Response Early Result - 15dpo @ PM

I did another of the same brand I did this morning.  Still +, even with night pee.

First Response Early Result - 15dpo @ FMU & PM

Comparing FMU (first morning urine) at 9am to PM (night pee) at 10:30pm.  Slightly darker.

Early-Pregnancy-Tests.com - 15dpo @ PM

These are supposed to be really sensitive, but the line is still faint.

Wondfo - 15dpo @ PM

Again supposed to be sensitive, but faint line.

Digital POAS test require more hCG hormone to pick up a +.  Many times they are - at first.  I bought a bunch LAST December and this was the only one I had left, so I gave it a try.  And results are:

e.p.t® Digital - 15dpo @PM

Sad thing is these are all ones I already owned in my house.  I still have a zip lock bag with many more.  

The Baby Psychic I used last July told me August would be my month. 

LMP (last menstrual period) - I'll be due August 22nd

O Date (ovulation) - I'll be due August 25th

I'm not sure if I should call my RE (best & quickest care but I'm currently on a natural cycle), OBGYN (who knows when I'll get an appointment & haven't been there since August), or primary base hospital (military).  I'm going to start with the RE though.  I know they can get me in Tuesday morning at 7am and have the results by 3pm same day.

I haven't told my husband yet, PLEASE keep it a secret.  If my beta (blood test) comes back + I'm going to wrap all the POAS in a box to give to him for Christmas.  I figure it's so close, and we'll celebrate on the 23rd because of his work schedule.  I figure that is a much better present than the Keurig I already bought him.

-Selbe

POAS #1

On the 10th I mentioned:  "AF should be due Thursday(CD30), Friday, Saturday or Sunday (CD33, 15dpo)."  Well nothing Thursday, nothing Friday, tested Saturday FMU and it was BFN.  But still no AF.

Last week a co-worker who knows about my fertility issues said to me: "Now that you have a puppy you'll probably get pregnant".  We joked how much work I'd have with a puppy and being pregnant.  Oh course that would never happen.

On the 17th I gave a list of my TWW symptoms.  Most I could write off as my allergies, busy Christmas season or that I'm just getting sick.  Only thing that seemed really strange is how tired, how starving and how I keep getting nauseous and dizzy.

I woke up this morning over and over again before my alarm.  Crazy baby/pregnancy dreams.  I planned on testing again.  Checked for AF, nothing.  Checked my cervix, kind of soft, or I couldn't find it.  Sometimes I can't find it when it's soft because my fruit loop cervix feels just like everything else in there.  Soft = AF is coming.  Did a POAS anyways, didn't think much would come of it.  Dipped the test in my cup of pee and then flushed the rest.

15dpo FMU

Why is it positive?  I'm infertile?

Maybe the test is broken?

Maybe it's one of those evaporated lines or some type of false positive?

Maybe it's a chemical pregnancy?

It's still really light...

Holding my pee in to test again.

(please no congratulations if you know me in person, if it is true I'd like to keep it a secret for awhile.)

-Selbe

CD33, 15dpo