Sick & Emotional

I haven't been feeling all that well lately.  I was sick with a cold all last week but that was pretty much has ended.

Monday morning I woke up early for my interview in Seattle.  I got out of bed and my stomach really hurt.  I tired to get dressed and put makeup on anyways but found myself dry heaving.  I ended up laying on the bathroom floor because I couldn't stand without getting sick anymore.  After awhile of that I had to get up, but didn't last long before throwing up.  Since I spent so much time sick I was late getting out the door, and then late getting to the ferry.  Which I then learned it left without me.  I figured there was a reason I shouldn't have went.  I called the company and rescheduled for Friday.

Tuesday I was fine but Wednesday I woke up sick again, no throwing up though.  I can't pin it on something I'm eating.  My boobs got really sore Monday morning too.  I figured nothing of these things, just wishful thinking.  Plus it's way to early for morning sickness, I'd be like 3 weeks along.

Yesterday I came home after visiting with a friend to watch the episode of The Office where Michael Scott leaves the company. (I watch everything on Netflix so I'm always a couple seasons behind.)  I was teary eyed the whole times.  And then the airport scene at the end I began crying!  WTF, it's a comedy, and I never cry during sad movies or love stories.  

Then I got sad my puppy figured out his doggy door.  He's going to be 11 months on Friday and he's growing up so quick and he's not going to need me anymore and...  

At that point I realized there might be something wrong with me.

The top left Wondro is the original image on my cell phone, the rest are edits.

Same, top left FRER is the original.  The second line isn't that visible with the FRER.

This was on a 2-3 hour hold in the evening, not FMU.

These are at 13dpt, 11dpiui, 10dp trip to location X, and anywhere from 12 to 10dpo.  I don't really know, I had to look all that up since I wasn't keeping track.  I wouldn't even know my EDD, May, March, June?  I try not to remember anymore.  I'll try another test with FMU.

So ether my trigger is still in my system, these tests are broken, or I'm pregnant.

-Selbe

Much Better Day

Special Puppy

After many phone calls and rushing my old records (which were supposed to be transferred over a month ago) we finally got what we wanted.

Provera & Pregnancy Tests

They gave me Provera.  Same 10mg but seven days this time.  I'm on day two of seven and I usually get AF 14 days after the last pill.  So CD1 in about three weeks.

Before the Provera they made me get a pregnancy test.  A urine PG test.  What is that?  I thought I would explain the two types of PG tests.

• Qualitatively - Meaning you get a "yes" or "no" if hCG is found.  Never a maybe.  This is with all urine tests (lab or at home) & some blood tests. 
• Quantitatively - You get a number of how much hCG is found.  Results are based on the number, so < 5 is not PG, 5 to 25 maybe, and > 25 is pregnant.  This is always blood and used by all REs.  I've never heard of an RE using a urine test.  This is also good because after multiple blood tests they can look at the trends in number to see if there is a problem with the pregnancy.  In the infertile world this is simply know as "beta".  

After being infertile this long I feel like a urine test is too much work for me.  Blood tests I just hop up on the chair, they stick me with a needle and then 30 second later I'm patched up and out of there.  It's more "painful" for me sitting in the overly crowded waiting room than the actual needle.  The urine test they gave me a bag with a cup, wipes and stickers and told me where the bathroom was.  Next I'm standing the the bathroom looking at the 12 steps on the wall of instruction on how to give a urine sample.   Then wondering to myself if this is enough pee to fulfill their 30ml requirement.  This is too much work, just stick me with a needle next time.  Anyways, it was negative.

Clomid Increased 

They decided to give me the Clomid this cycle, as long as I go to the high risk appointment on the 26th.  This also means I am doing Ovidrel with IUI.  Yay!

Last week they wanted Clomid 50mg for me.  After reviewing my records today they decided to increase my dose to 100mg.  Though I still hate Clomid I have more hope in 100 over 50.  

Frozen Sperm

We went into Seattle to freeze Bean's sperm yesterday.  It went well.  I don't have a count or any other numbers.  But he did produce one vial worth for freezing.  It's sperm in the freezer so I should be happy.  And we do plan on doing it a couple more times in the next few weeks.  But does one vial per ejaculation sound normal?  I'm trying to Google and it seems like only one is used per IUI.  Sustained all of Saturday, Sunday and Monday.  

I'm so grateful that Bean goes along with these ideas.  I know it's not easy to jerk off in a strange room with people walking around outside. 

Blood Work

Last Friday I has another series of blood work, seven vials this time.  I looked at my hand after he got done and it turned purple with white spots.  It was pretty amusing to me.  Today I picked up the results.

	Selbe's	Normal Range
Estradiol	134	27 - 433 pg/mL*
DHEA	205	18 - 391 ug/dL
LH	14.31	1.2 - 103.03 mIU/mL**
FSH	6.28	1.79 - 22.51 mIU/mL ***
Prolactin	10.53	3.34 - 26.72 ng/mL
Insulin	8.86	1.9 - 23 uIU/mL
Creatinine	0.8	0.6 - 1 mg/dL
ALT	32	30 - 65 U/L
Fasting Glucose	92	70 - 110 mg/dL
TSH	1.38	0.34 - 4.82 uIU/mL
Testosterone	68	2 - 45 mg/dL
HgbA1C	5.1	4.3 - 6.1 %
17-OHP	79	< 285 ng/dL ****

* Estradiol - Mid-follicular phase: 27-122;  Periovulatory: 95-433;  Mid-luteal phase: 49-291

** LH - Follicular phase: 2.12-10.89;  Mid-cycle: 19.18-103.03;  Luteal: 1.2-12.86

*** FSH - Follicular phase: 3.85-8.78;  Mid-cycle: 4.54-22.51;  Luteal: 1.79-5.12; Postmenopausal: 16.74-113.59

**** 17-OHP - Follicular phase: <185; Luteal phase: <285

A few of those with the *'s depend on where I am in my cycle.  Since I'm CD60 I'm guessing I'm in the luteal phase?  I'm sure that isn't right because I never ovulated.  The only number that is high is my testosterone and that is common for a women with PCOS.

IVF

I was told yesterday the IVF wait list is at about 9 months right now.  But it could become shorter if other people drop out of the program.

-Selbe

Ovulation in the Future?

CD14

Or maybe just a false alarm?

Today would be CD14 today, from my surgery.  Which isn't accurate.  I don't think I'd actually ovulate this soon.  

My Ovacue is looking amazing.  Decreasing and increasing where it should be.  Almost perfect for someone with a regular cycle.  I figured it would be all over the place like an anovulatory cycle.  Right on time at CD14-ish.  Ovacue is telling me I am going to ovulate soon.  Darker the blue, closer to ovulation, 'til it turns pink/purple.  The falling purple dots (vagina sensor) tell so too.  If they start going up quickly then I've ovulated.

I decided to give an pregnancy test (HCG, pink) a try.  I didn't hold my pee in for an length of time, in fact I don't really know how long it was.  And I took it at night.  The pregnancy test had a faint positive, the lightest I've seen since December.  I decided to try an OPK (LH, blue).  Really positive.

This is probably a fake though.  I found this site about LH and hCG hormones and why my OPK is lieing to me right now.  OPK's as HPT's: using an ovulation test to confirm pregnancy:

"...OPK's detect LH (luteinizing hormone) which is the hormone associated with ovulation. Pregnancy tests detect hCG, the hormone associated with pregnancy. LH and hCG are, at a molecular level, nearly identical. hCG has a beta subunit, meaning it has an extra little "doodad." To use a stupid but easy to understand example, LH and hCG are identical twins, except that hCG wears a funny hat.

An OPK tests only for the part of the molecule that LH and hCG have in common (the "face" or "body" of the identical twins.)...

So an OPK will turn positive when it detects either of the "identical twins"-- ovulation or pregnancy hormone. 

The reverse is not true, however, because an HPT tests for the part of the molecule that is unique to hCG (the "hat.")...

Therefore, a pregnancy test will turn positive only in the presence of hCG, whereas an OPK will turn positive in the presence of hCG or LH. ...

Additionally, OPK's are not as sensitive as a lot of HPT's are. This means that, if pregnant, you are likely to get a positive HPT earlier than you would get a positive OPK. ...

...if you are comparing a sensitive (20 mIU) OPK to some less-sensitive HPT's (sensitive to 25-50 mIU) then yes, it's true an OPK may turn positive before an HPT. ... 

Finally, research has shown there are actually different kinds of hCG. In some cases (most common in early pregnancy, or in pregnancies with chromosomal abnormalities) the hCG molecule may become "nicked" or "cleaved" (partially or completely separating into its alpha and beta units.) Ovulation tests may not recognize (cross-react) with all types of hCG molecules, and may be falsely negative during pregnancy. ... 

At the end of the day, a positive result on an HPT means you are pregnant. A positive result on an OPK could mean you are near ovulation, pregnant, or the test is picking up an entirely different hormone or element. Or it may be negative even if a woman is pregnant. With a positive HPT there is no doubt; a positive OPK may provide a clue, but doesn't really give you an answer for sure. ...

...some women have experimented with the principle that an OPK, even if it's negative, will become increasingly darker if she is pregnant. ..."

Long story short my OPK is picking up on the lingering hCG and LH hormone in my body.  Not just the LH like it should.  Although there is a chance it is a true, or close to, true positive.  If it was positive and only picking up on LH and maybe a little hCG then it will get darker and darker over the next few days, then lighter and lighter.  If it was picking up on LH and hCG then it would just get lighter and lighter.  I don't think I have the patience to test it out so we will go with it as being a false positive.  I'll put more faith in the Ovacue or just wait for my period.

The bleeding from my D&C ended sometime last week.  Overall it was a lot less blood than I was expecting.  Today I noticed some brown spotting and tonight I'm having menstrual cramps.  I feel like I'm getting my period.  My D&C was two weeks ago.  Not sure if this is the lingering effect of the D&C, or my period coming early.  This is the most cramping I've had since the hours after surgery.  

Loki graduated from his puppy class.  He does have eyes, he's just scared of everything and closes them when the flash goes off.  The world is scary when you are only 3 months old.

-Selbe