|Myself, because I don't|
post many photos of me.
I have another appointment on the 17th (I think) for a basic pap smear. It's with my primary doctor (PCM) because my insurance doesn't let me see a OBGYN for that. Pap smears are easy for me, especially after everything else I've had done. It's the PCM part that scares me. The last one didn't know what she was doing, couldn't find my cervix (yeah, I know) and ended up shoving her fingers into it. You'd figure because the doctor is a women and had those parts that she'd know what gentle means.
Me: "I have really bad menstrual cramps."
Female Dr: "Yeah that's normal."
Me: "No, they are REALLY bad."
Female Dr: "Yup, normal."
Me: "I haven't gotten my period in three months."
Female Dr: "Normal."
Me: "I THINK THERE IS SOMETHING FUCKING WRONG WITH ME."
They also don't listen. I like male doctors better.
Shaking My Head
Sometimes people send me message or post comments on Facebook that all I can do is shake my head. I thought I'd bundle up a few of them to share.
Example 1 sent me a Facebook message congratulating on my pregnancy, four month AFTER my miscarriage. Thanks but yeah... She saw my ultrasound photos from January, the ones that mention D&C and where everyone commented saying they were sorry.
Example 2 was a comment from a family friend. I'm not sure if she is talking about OPKs, saliva ferning or she's just confused. Probably the last one. I'm going to assume OPKs. I've used them once or twice (ha!). See there is something called PCOS. My ovaries do pretty much fucking nothing every day of their life. It doesn't matter how many of those strips I piss on, if I don't ovulate there is no "right time". No eggs, no babies. Got it? Taking away "pop" might work. We don't normally have "bears" walking around unless you count the dog, good there. No alcohol would probably help. Tight underwear, ha! I make sure there are no tighty whities in this house! I wonder how long someone has to trying to believe these little "tips" really work. Two, maybe three, months?
Example 3 was left on this post for me. So I generally blog about my our infertility and pregnancy loss. I'm sorry I couldn't make it sound happier. It's not really a happy topic to talk about.
- "Yes! More nausea today. All this throwing up is going to make me lose weight."
- "The rage from these fertility drugs is great. I love telling people what I really think of them."
- "I love throw and destroy things during rage, it shows the durablity of items. Except this calendar. I didn't really like those landscape scenes anyways."
- "Transvaginal utlrasound today! It's like using a dildo that doesn't move?"
- "More bloodwork = awesome bandaid wrap thing!"
- "So glad my baby's heart stopped, now I don't have to be pregnant in the summer."
- "I didn't want a January baby anyways."
- "I love that fertility treatment costs so much. I mean what else could I spend me money on?"
- "Welfare is great because it's like a have millions of kids that I pay for, but I don't ever have to deal with their crying!"
There you go. There is your positive blog of an infertile women who lost her baby.-Selbe