Wednesday, March 28, 2012

Lots of Cramps

I'm not sure if my current cramping is from my surgery last week or a Provera induced period that is on it's way.  My days off I'm fine.  But if I'm at work standing all day then it hurts.  It hurts to put pressure on it too.  And I feel pulling or movement like when I was pregnant.  Yet my body doesn't do anything else!

It was way easier to stay pregnant.  That's what I concluded after a bunch of blood work and two surgeries.  And feeling like my uterus might fall out.  I don't blame it though, I'd run away too after everything I've put it through.  

I ended up crying to the dog last night, and telling him what a miserable failure I am because I can't carry a baby for 40 weeks.  Seems like everyone else has figured it out just fine.  This was the first time in a long while I cried about my miscarriage.  

Maybe I'm having some form of PMS.  I've been moody and depressed the last couple days.  And my acne hasn't been this bad in a long time.



My favorite type of fertile: young, newly married/not married.  Just need to add food stamps or welfare into the mix and we'll be best friends!

 

Another favorite type of fertile: stupid.  This is another military wife (who's pregnant, obviously by the fucking ultrasound photo) wondering if she could go to the open house to a submarine while she is 30+ weeks pregnant.  I guess she lacks all basic knowledge about submarines, even though her husband is stationed on one.  There is no giant fucking door on the side.  There's a hatch (hole) and a long ladder all the way down.  

-Selbe

8 comments:

  1. LOL at the last part, but I'm sad for you that you feel like a miserable failure. You're not. It's just bad luck for which you're not to blame. I hope your puppy told you that too.

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    1. It's ok. I think PMS is just getting to me. I need to add "really fucking pissed" and I'll be all set. That and it feels like I've been waiting FOREVER! I just want AF so I can move on.

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  2. Yeah I shook my head when I read that one about the door, I mean seriously you don't look at photos of a normal working submarine?

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    1. USS Albacore has a couple doors in the side. Then again it also tells AND shows you how they had to cut a hole in the side to install this door AFTER it was put on display. And it's in a ditch! And any sub would go a lot slower in the water with a giant door sticking out like in the Albacore photo above.

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  3. I have an idea of what it's like to be an outsider in the Navy wife world (to a much lesser extent obvi.)since I'm neither married nor pregnant after a year and it's tough. It scares me that some of them are reproducing when they can't even take care of themselves. I have no tolerance for stupid girls. You are an inspiration of strength and true feminism and for that I have more respect for you than many people I have met.

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    1. Aww thank you! For awhile I was just a Navy girlfriend too, for two years before a got married. Which doesn't sound like long in the real world, but in the military life women seem to be getting married within months of meeting their boyfriend. And pregnant a few months after that. It's so silly. Thank you for reading!

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  4. You really sound like you have depression, ever thought about talking to a doctor? All this negative and sour thinking.

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    1. Not sure who you are... but struggle with infertility and have your baby die. Then define "negative thinking" for me. This is probably one of the more positive blogs out there on this topic.

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