Switch to Femara

New Meds for a New Cycle

I called up yesterday for my Provera refill and the Femara.  I actually got ahold of a real person on the first try.  The wait to get blood work this morning was just as long as normal.  This is for my monthly pregnancy test "just in case".  I didn't even call back for the results.  And the line of the pharmacy was surprisingly short.  Even the old guy next to me said he didn't even have enough time for his usually nap while waiting.  

Tomorrow I'll start Provera for the next five day.  I'm prescribed for seven, but I don't get my period any sooner with seven or ten.  

Then around August 1st I'll start Femara 5mg, standard five days like Clomid.  I believe 5mg is the middle dose, I've also seen 2.5 and 7.5mg prescribed.  

My first ultrasound will be around the 10th.  

Lets just hope my ovaries do something.

I increased my Met a couple days ago to 1500mg.  I'm not feeling all that hot but not throwing up ether.  < Lack of vomiting, this is my positive thinking for those that believe I lack it.

Cervix

My pap smear from April-ish came back normal, I will avoid dysplasia/cancer for another year.  The letter I got in the mail said for me to book another one in two years, yeah that's not going to happen.  After everything I've been through with my cervix I don't trust it that much.  I'll call up next spring for another one.  

Creative

Bean's work schedule has been hectic lately, even more so in the next week.  Last night he got home at midnight (goes into work at 6am), and I expect the same for tonight too.  I'm trying to find things to keep me busy.  I have a bunch of guy shirts Bean gave me that I love, but they are guy shirts.  They don't fit boobs and curves.  I have to take a couple of them in.  Along with my own shirts I have to take in. 

I saw some cute baby onesie/bib ideas on ThinkGeek and Pinterest I want to copy.  Maybe I'll do that next week.

PS Victoria's Secret is having a swimsuit sale.  The website is dangerous, I just spend $120 on 4 bottom and 2 tops.  But it is a good deal, if anyone needs a new one or five.

-Selbe

Appointment 5/17

Annually Pap Smear

This was yesterday, pretty routine.  With years of cervical dysplasia and infertility I'm no longer afraid of spread my legs to strangers.  In fact I get a little confused when I have an RE or OBGYN visit and they don't have me undress.  (But don't you want to see my vajayjay?)

I don't really care about the results.  If it's normal, great.  If it's abnormal, well I've already been down the road several times before.  

The one thing that annoys me about this facility (PCM) is they keep a record of how many pregnancies one has had.  One in my case.  But they don't keep a record of live births, losses or miscarriages, so they ask.  I guess this would not bother most fertile women because they can just say they have a healthy two year old at home. But someone like myself gets to tell them I've had a miscarriage EVERY SINGLE TIME.  Not cool.  Please just put a note in there about it, or change my number back to zero.  I loved my baby and no way do I want to say he didn't exist.  I also don't want to go over it each time I'm there.

Metformin & my PCOS

This new PCM wanted to put me on Metformin for my PCOS.  I'm all for it, I hear it makes you poop a lot other than that it can't hurt.  He said he would think about it and call me in a few hours.  

He decided no. :(  I have no note of being diagnosed with PCOS in the records.  My records haven't arrived from NH, from ether my OBGYN or RE.  I put a request on April 27th to have them transferred.  But this facility never got around to filling it 'til May 3rd, then told me yesterday when I went to check on them that it takes 4-6 weeks to be transferred.  Seriously?  Which concerns me for my appointment next week because they most likely will not be here for that.

This is not the first time Metformin has been discussed for me.  My last set of glucose blood work showed my levels were in the normal range and I am not insulin resistant.  The RE decided since I'm not insulin resistant that Met would not work for me.  Makes sense.  But I've also read online that Met might help for those that are PCOS and not insulin resistant.  I don't know, but I don't mind trying the drug if anyone of these doctors was willing to prescribe it.

To be honest I don't even know if PCOS is even in my records from the past RE.  Yes, I have oligoovulation.  I don't get my period often and most of those times I don't ovulate.  However, my ovaries are not polycystic, in six ultrasounds they have never found one cyst.  All the other symptoms could be blamed on something else.  Like my acne, that's always been bad even in my pre-teens.  I think my body is hairy but a lot of women probably do.  And I'm also German, we are known for being furry everywhere.  But it's not like I'm growing a beard or have some strange facial hair.  My head hair isn't thinning nor am I losing it.  It's super thick and grows quick.  Though I'm fat with a BMI of 29, I guess I could also blame that on my love of ice cream.  I was labeled PCOS because they couldn't figure out anything else that could cause lack of ovulation for over a decade in a 27 year old female.  If anyone has any other ideas, let me know.

Upcoming Appointment

My appointment with my new RE is this Thursday.  I'm excited for it, but also worried now because I'm medical record-less.  I really wish doctors would let me carry a copy of my own records.  This lack of paperwork now means they have no record of my five rounds of Clomid, any blood work I've had, SA, HSG, any of the U/S, or my past pregnancy.  I also worry about being turned away for being not infertile enough, records or not.  If that's the case I will have to leave the military system and go out in town to see a doctor, because there is nothing else that can be done for me if I am turned away.

I am probably worrying over nothing. 

Current Cycle

CD48.  Lots of cramping.  My breast are sore again but I'm not sure if that's from running.  I only got sick to my stomach once this week.

I'm just waiting for Thursdays appointment so I can start Provera.  

Pinterest

I found a new love of Pinterest.   I never really understood it when I signed up 6 months or so ago.  Then I bought a house and need new ideas for it.  I've made boards (groups) for baby stuff I want to do or buy whenever I get PG again.  Also made one for infertility.  Usually just graphics to be used on here one day.  You are welcome to follow me.

I found this chalkboard idea for pregnancy where women write their weekly update about the baby like what size it is in fruit terms.  Then sometimes stand next to it to show how big their bump is.  I was thinking of doing this for infertility, the weekly update part.  The bump is really just my belly fat, it isn't that interesting.

This is another example of the fun things fertile preggos get to do.  Just like this blog, which I really just wanted a PG blog to document everything.  Then decided to start the early and do a "journey to pregnancy" blog.  A year later I'm still blogging about the stupid journey and I'm not much closer to having a baby. 

Chalkboard are a lot harder to find than you thing.  I went to Wal-Mart, Office Max and then Home Depot to just buy the paint to make a chalkboard.  

-Selbe

Lap Surgery

Before

My Laparoscopic Surgery and Hysteroscopy was yesterday morning.  It went good and eh.

October 25th - Surgery arrival time set at 7:30AM.  Then changed to 8:30.

October 26th - Surgery arrival time changed to 6:30AM.

October 27th 5:30 :45AM - Wake up.

6:00AM - In the car.  Downpouring, again.  It's only really rained hard twice in the past two weeks, both on my surgery days.

6:30 - Arrive at surgery center & check in.

6:50 - Called into back room, changed into my gown and slipper socks.

Before

7:00 - I'm given a chair.  Hooked up to heart monitor, blood pressure machine & took my temperature.  98.1°F this time, woo hoo!

7:20 - IV goes in.  I'm in pain because the tie is super tight around my arm to get my vein to pop out, the two needles they put in me were nothing.  Bean honestly looked like he was in more pain watching it go in.  (Then again this is my third time having an IV, he's never had one put in, & has a fear of needles. Good thing I'm the IF one & goes though all this shit.)

7:40 - RIP navel ring.  They made me take it out, well Bean did since I couldn't being being hooked up to everything.  They originally said to put it in right after, then I few days later.  Then when I woke up I heard something about infected (but I was really out of it.) So we'll see.

7:50 - They walk me into the room where my surgery is done.  I'm told to hop up on the bed and put my butt above the hole in it.  Both my arms of put off to the sides.  Things start to get "drunk", AKA blurry & I start laughing.  The Dr. tells me he already gave me one type of med.  A mask is put over my face & I'm told to breath. Few second later I was out.

8:50 - I began to wake up in the room I started with, except a bed not a chair.  Everything is so blurry & Bean comes in.  I'm given ginger ale but can't find the straw.

After

9:00 - Dr. H comes over to show me the photos, said some stuff put I was way too out of it.

9:20 - Told I need to pee before I leave & it might burn since a catheter was inserted. It only burned a little but there was tons of blood.  Bean helped me change back into my normal clothes & I'm given a seat in the chair again.

9:30 - Dr. H came & explained the photos again.

9:40 - Released & heading home.

10:10 - Told Bean I was nauseous on the way home, I threw up twice in the car.

10:30 - Home & in bed.  I slept on & off 'til 1, but couldn't sleep anymore since I had to pee every 20 minutes thanks to the IV fluids.

I'm in less pain than I thought.  My stomach is sore but it has stopped cramping.  My throat is sore from the tube they put down it.  My pee is still burning.  But overall I'm up and moving around.  I've gone up and down stairs, walked around two shopping stores tonight, and I'm eating solid foods.  I was prescribed Ibuprofen and Oxycontin for the pain, but so far I've only taken the Ibuprofen once.  My biggest issue and they fill you with gas to expand the abdomen.  This gas tend to rise up to the shoulders and cause pain, which it hasn't yet.  Plus the swelling.  My stomach feels so big (and hard).  I could probably pass as having an early pregnancy.

You are probably wondering how it went, so...

Cervix - Almost completely gone due to both my LEEPs.  I mentioned this before.  I'm wondering if this 100% sets me up for needed a cervical cerclage?  RE has to dilate it a lot to get the tube past the scar tissue and into my uterus.

Uterus - Normal but showed abrasions (the red marks)?  He said since I go so long between AF that this can happen.

Left Fallopian Tube - Normal.  Open & nothing wrong.

Right Fallopian Tube - Not normal.  It was open so they didn't have to unblock it.  But there was a lot of scar tissue, it was enlarged & very twisted.  This increases my risks of ectopic pregnancy by a lot.  Not sure if this means I skip IUI & head to IVF instead.  But since it's not block they left it as is.

Ovaries - Normal.  I'm assuming they are the blue/white things in the photos.  My tubes are also blue in colour due to the dye they used.

Liver - Normal.  Not sure why they gave me a photo of it.  But I guess I haven't drank it to death yet.

Vagina - Doing amazing like always.  Kind of sad I can't have sex or even take a bath for a week since my cervix with dilated.

My post-op appointment is next Thursday, which is also my "what to do with me appointment."  SA was done, HSG Lap Surgery done, BW done, U/S done.  I can now move forward with treatment.  And paying big money for what the other 99% of the population gets for free.  

CD12

Pity

Source

I created this blog a couple months ago to tell my story.  Never along the way have I wanted anyone to feel bad for me or what I have gone through.  I don't want pity but only for people to understand.

I used to want to be an OBGYN and deliver babies.  But the whole 8+ years of school turned me off.  Instead I just expend my time with Dr. Google and reading about pregnancy, birth, and any disorders of the female reproductive system.  I've collected tons of knowledge that is pretty much useless to me right now.  And I probably have a more detailed birth plan than a women in her third trimester.  But now I no longer spend time researching pregnancy.  Everything has now shifted to how to get pregnant to begin with.  I research the differences between fertility drugs, how they work, side effects, increased risk for miscarriage or multiples.  How each procedure and test works.  And who can forget Aunt Judith's cousin's neighbours secret on how she got PG.  I have to say this stuff is nowhere near as exciting as learning about a 30 week fetus or Pitocin.  It is almost ironic.

I still consider myself a "new" infertile.  In fact Dr. S lists me as "subfertile."  Which means I might be able to conceive on my own someday, but not today or probably anytime soon.   I am not waiting 'til I'm 42 to see if maybe my ovaries will start working again.  I'm fixing the problem now.  And I honestly have very, very, little hope that I'll ever have a 28 day cycle (or anywhere near that) with ovulation for an extended period of time.  I was told ten years ago that I would "outgrow" this problem and that my cycles would become more regular as I got older.  That's a lie and in fact I seem to have done the opposite.  If I've seen CD200 on more than one occasion I'll just mark myself as infertile.

I've yet to do IVF or IUI.  I've had no surgeries related to IF and the only testing I've had is some simple BW and an U/S.  The only drugs I've been on is Clomid and Provera.  And I have never had a miscarriage.  I've had it pretty easy so far compared to most.  So I don't want anyone to feel bad for me.   If you want a national feel-bad-for-an-infertile day then I'll give you a list of many other women that have just had their 5th miscarriage or are going through their 3rd try at IVF.

I would much rather bring awareness to the topic that is almost seen at taboo.  No one wants to talk about it but you know it's there.  The world will be all sunshine and rainbows if it didn't exist.  And that's wrong.  I was never afraid of talking about my cervical dysplasia or any STD I might of had.  These things do exist and I want to help others.  It's not something you look down at someone for.  

Never pity me.

CD11, OPK-