|Happy and Sad cookies from a|
bakery down the road from
I've been pretty happy lately.
Not sure what it is. My break from TTC? Or realizing I'm no longer in the race to get pregnant by my due date? Maybe the Metformin affecting my mood? Or the fact I actually remembered to take my vitamin D supplements (I'm deficient BTW)? Or my running? A few of those things are supposed to help with depression.
I wouldn't say I'm depressed though, or ever was. I am lazy and mope around sometimes, and I do cry. But given everything I've gone through in the last couple months I'm doing pretty well.
My husband's work schedule has been far from ideal lately but I seem to be the only wife not complaining about it. I admit it does suck he has to work long hours, even on the weekends. But I find other things to do.
With everything I am happy and content.
Approaching Due Date
I mentioned before my due date is coming up at the end of August. My original hope was to get pregnant again by then. I mean it was nine months away, that's a LONG time. And everyone always says you're more fertile after a miscarriage. (I fucking hate this too.) And I know SO MANY people that have gotten pregnant a month or three later. (Most of them don't have PCOS and another other fertility problems.)
Back in January getting pregnant by August 25th seemed easy. It's like 7 months off. My due date would be way easier emotionally if I knew I had another baby on the way. And then it was 5 months off. Plenty of time! Then 3 months off. Still doable. And now...
It isn't going to happen. And I'm OK with it.
Back when my last IUI got canceled I counted the days. Days 'til I could take Provera. Days 'til I'd get my period. Days 'til I ovulate at the earliest. Days of my two week wait. Even if everything goes down to plan I still will not be pregnant by my due date.
I've made other plans for the day now.
Every since about April I have been having problems with food aversion, especially meat. In the past I mention I don't eat cow. It's not that I feel bad for little moo moo, it's that hamburgers and steaks don't taste good to me. And over the last 15 years they kind of look gross too. I do eat chicken, turkey and pig though. Well that was 'til a couple months ago. Those sound gross to me too now. Bean has tried chicken in all forms, grilled, fried, mixed with other things. Sometimes I'll eat it, most of the time I will not. Turkey I wont really touch ether, and I haven't even attempted Wilbur.
I would say it's my prego hormones, if I was pregnant. I just figure it is all my other hormones out of whack. I have been trying to find protein in other forms now.
We were buying some organic products in NH, and even more here since it's more available. I'm not a hardcore organic eater, if I want raspberries and they only have the regular version then I'm still going to get raspberries. But if the organic is there I'll grab that instead. Only thing is they tend to cost a lot more. Same goes for gluten-free products. I hear organic and glute-free are better for fertility anyways. For meals there is a lot more food made at home verses in a restaurant. And what is made at home is much more from scratch. Mainly Bean cooking because I am a horrible cook.
Thank You Met!
My Metformin side effects this week = way less. No nausea at all. Woo hoo! Now I just have to remember to eat three meals a day so I can take all three pills.
I went on a Facebook friends deleting spree the other day. Mostly people I went to high school with, not even sure why I'm their "friend" anyways since we didn't talk that much back then. I don't comment on any of their stuff, they don't comment on any of mine. I really only keep them on there to look at their pictures from time to time. You know the usually, make sure they are worse off than me, and make sure they got fatter than me. The stuff that makes you feel better about yourself. Well it's time to move on, it's been nine years since I graduated and about 3,000 miles. We no longer have anything in common. I still have a bunch more people to go though though.
Tips For Upcoming Appointments
Before going to your OGBYN or RE appointment write down a list of questions you have, and maybe a set treatment you would like to look into. That way you get the most out of your appointment. And don't get down the road and suddenly remember something you forgot to ask about.-Selbe