My Current Cycle
Each day goes by with no AF and all BFN. I'm beginning to think I never ovulated. Fuck. Since my D&C my ovaries have begun shutting down again. I wont get AF until they give me Provera again. Maybe I'll start taking my Vitex again (I stopped after what I thought was O). I'm going to be happy to start fertility drugs again and be monitored.
My Insurance & Military Treatment Facilities
There are two main MTF (military treatment facility, military hospitals) in the area. MTF Bremerton (US Navy) is 20 minutes away and the primary one I go to. MTF Madigan (US Army) an hour away. MTF Bremerton does basic OBGYN, low-risk pregnancy and low end fertility treatment (Clomid only, no trigger, injectables, IUI or IVF). Since I have already done my five rounds of Clomid with no luck I am ready to move on. In order for me to go to MTF Madigan I need a referral from my PCM (primary doctor) at MTF Bremerton, I just can't make an appointment there on my own.
There are only a handful of MTF on the country that do more advanced fertility treatments. Our last base was MTF Portsmouth, they didn't do much of anything there. The closest to Portsmouth was 500 miles away in Washington DC (I believe). So I was sent out into the civilian world. Hence how I ended up at FCNE with Dr. H.
This is for Tricare Prime. The only way I can get out of this referral system is downgrading to Tricare Standard. I can see whatever doctor I pick in the civilian world (as long as they take Tricare) but have to pay copays. Depending on your situation one can be better than the other. But fertility treatment at a MTF tends to be cheaper than at a civilian doctor.
I'm hoping that my one natural pregnancy, although failed and ended with a miscarriage, means I'll have good odds with more advanced fertility treatments. Though I've ovulated about five times in two years, I do have a good chance of getting PG when I ovulate. IF I ovulate.
MTF Bremerton pissed me off yesterday. At my appointment on Monday they told me my referral to MTF Madigan would be put in and in two days I could call up to make my next appointment.
I called up yesterday (two days) to schedule my appointment. The appointment line could not find my referral so they could not give me an appointment.
I called the referrals office. They also couldn't find my referral, ether processed or waiting to be processed.
I then called my PCM that gave me the referral to begin with. They couldn't find the doctor, or the referral and had no idea when they would. Zero help.
Which left me only one option, call the appointment line and make another appointment with my PCM for another referral.
The appointment line only had two appointment available: A. in nine minutes; B. in two weeks. Nine minutes just wouldn't work, and two weeks seems like a long wait for someone else's fuck up.
So I drove there and talked to a couple people in person. The PCM forgot to put the referral in. I was informed a new one would be put in today and in two days (hopefully) I could make an appointment. Which I'm sure in itself won't be for a month or so from now.
I grew up in a family where getting food stamps, WIC or any other types of government programs was avoided as much as possible unless really needed. It was an embarrassment. My father says that times are changing and it's become less of an humiliation and more of people abusing the system. I do believe there are many people out there abusing it, for as long as possible. I also believe there are those that really do need it. Our system just sucks at weeding out those that are abusing it and giving it to those that need it.
I have been on government programs twice in my life. I didn't have health insurance in my teens and early 20's, no job that offered it, no money to pay for private health care, and still in college. I had government health insurance to remove cervical dysplasia, since that becomes worse if not taken care of. Then another time to remove my tonsils since I was in a lot of pain and could not pay for the surgery out-of-pocket. During this time I ate the same cheap food everyday and would donate blood to get free cookies and juice. Though I was eligible, never during this time did I sign up for food stamps.
I've also worked retail at several places that accepted food stamps (now EBT, no wait SNAP) and WIC. Again there are people out there that really do need food stamps. Food stamps covers most food items. Every once and awhile I'd have a customer want to buy a "food item" and the card wouldn't accept it. One example was years ago I had customer want to buy one of those tins filled with popcorn that stores sell around Christmas time. The tins with not the greatest in the world but tolerable popcorn, and once you got done eating it (or throwing the stall shit out) a plastic bag was stuck in it and use around the house as a trash can, until it begins to rust. She flipped out on me. I've watched customers buy lobster, potato chips, soda pop, gum, and candy with food stamps. Never fruits, vegetables or Ramen noodles. I'm sorry, but if someone is broke and starving they have learned that if you eat certain foods they fill you up better than others, regardless of the calories. And they know just how much sometimes cost. I was limited growing up by my father on what I could buy at the grocery store to about $10/week. One time I even got yelled at for wanting bread and milk in the same week. Yes it was probably wrong on his part, and not something I'd do to my own child, but fuck I figured it out. And now taxes are pulled from my crappy minimum wage job to pay for such programs. I don't really give a fuck that your Easter candy and not covered and how you "need" it. Bitch to me and I'll tell you the real difference between a NEED and a WANT.
Now moving on to WIC. I like WIC better than food stamps because it does limit what you can purchase with it, such as only approved cereal, cheese, produce, formula, etc. However WIC is a bitch for cashiers to ring out. The WIC program requires cashier to go as far as writing their numbers perfectly (yes, they provide you a sheet on how to write a "7" correct). Along with making sure the products are the correct type stated on the check and approved by WIC. When a customer goes to use all her newly expiring WIC checks all at once it takes a great deal of time.
I bring up this topic because Bean and I went to Wal-Mart late at night a few days ago. When we got in line at 11:50PM there was only one person in front of us. A lady, several years younger than myself, not married and with her daughter (about 1 year old) in the cart. First off, it's almost midnight. That child should be in bed asleep. I don't understand why people don't have a sit bedtime and bring their kids out shopping late at night. (Fuck, my six month old puppy even has a bedtime and falls asleep at 10PM, midnight the latest, each night!) And then I looked at the belt and saw it. Her separated stacks of groceries (baby food & formula) and the stack of EIGHT WIC checks right besides it.
My infertile self got pissed. She's broke, unmarried, has a child and for the next fifteen minutes I'm forced to stare at her in front of me. Bean and I have been married for three years, have money (enough), a house, a dog, two cars and zero babies. All I have to show for it is this shit and a dead baby. Spectacular! I looked at Bean and then her and mentioned something along the lines of "that is what you get when you don't use birth control". Some days I admit, I'm just not a good person.
Not My Kind
Sometimes I wonder when I do get pregnant again how I'd react to other pregnant women around me that haven't had the same trials. What if they got PG with little trying or on accident, instead of with fertility drugs, procedures and surgery? Will I feel like they are not my kind? Will I feel like I am above them? Especially if my pregnancy COST more (fertility treatment) than theirs?
My old RE is offering a contest for a free IVF cycle. This is only for those living in ME, NH, VT, MA, CT and RI. You can enter to win by filling out the entry form here.
An ultrasound device has been invented to work on smart phones. I'd buy it if it wasn't $8k.-Selbe