Saturday, February 4, 2012

In Memory of Munchlet

I started using my Ovacue right after my D&C.  It is starting to show I'm becoming fertile (changing from white to light blue to medium blue).  I'm not getting too excited because I think it's too soon after my D&C (week & half) for my body to become getting ready to ovulate.  That and my hormones or something are probably all screwed up.  I can't even use OPKs (ovulation predictor kit) because if I show up positive on an pregnancy test then every OPK I take is also going to be positive.  In fact VERY positive, I decided to test it out today just for the hell of it.  The hCG (pregnancy test) and LH (ovulation test) hormones are read similar.  So OPKs are out of the question for awhile.  

I'll give a better review of the Ovacue after a normal cycle or two of using it.  Not like I ever really have "normal" cycles. 

I went to urgent care yesterday.  I thought my ear started hurting, maybe I was imagining it.  My dizziness could be caused by ear infection or another ear problem.  I might be out of my mind.  I called my ENT, not open on Fridays.  I called my primary doctor, no appointments 'til Monday at the earliest.  I know my history with ear infections.  One ear hurts, then the other, then my sinuses, then the head feels like it is going to explode, then I lose my hearing, then I can't stop crying.  I go downhill QUICK, and I'm not waiting 'til Monday to do so.  I have a job and life, I can't be a mess.  

I didn't go to an ER, just urgent care down the road from me.  Never been there before and it was strange.  Nurse asked me my last menstrual period, November 16th haha.  Some other questions like if I feel safe at home, if I think they should know my religious preference, and something about my will.  Ear infection, I'm OK.  Doctor came in and was in a hurry.  He asked if I needed a note for work or school.  Again ear infection, I'm OK.  And if I was "pooping and peeing" alright?  Got right to the point there.  Ear looks fine.  He thinks I have a sinus infection maybe.  Probably Eustation Tube Dysfunction, but I've know I have had ETD for years.  One thing I hope to never pass down to my child. But he marked me down as ETD and ear infection.  I got some antibiotics and I'm happy.  That's what I wanted.

I also put my ferret to sleep yesterday.  Munchlet has been fighting Insulinoma (cancer of the pancreas) since October 2010.  It's been a long road and he has been medicated for the whole time.  Munch went for surgery to remove some of the larger tumors, giving him more time, in December 2010.  However, the surgery became permanently canceled due to his enlarged heart.  I mentioned putting Munch down after I got a great ultrasound for baby #1.  Unfortunately that never happened.  Munchie took a turn for the worse Monday and I thought he wouldn't have much longer.  I'd rather have him pass in his own home.  It kept dragging on and Friday I decided it needed to end.  He couldn't eat, drink, walk, use the bathroom, or hold his head up.  I would check every few hours and it was heartbreaking to see him laying there still breathing.  As mean as it sounds I kept thinking "just die already".  I knew this was the end of the road for him.  Loki had an appointment for his Lyme Disease shot Friday so I bought Munch along.  I also brought Buddy and Nibbler, my other two ferrets, so say goodbye.  I really wanted Bean there for support and to say goodbye also.  But his work schedule wouldn't allow and I couldn't take more time off, especially after the time he already got off for the miscarriage and D&C.  So I made the decision, sent Bean a text message (in case he got it and could met me there) and put Munch to sleep.  Bean didn't get the message 'til 3 or 4 hours later.  This is one of those things as a military wife that you really don't want to have to do alone but you learn you have to sometimes.  And I'm proud of myself for having the courage to do this, and tackling a trip to the vet with three ferrets and a three month old puppy.  The ferrets are easy, a young puppy not so much.  The vet visit took over an hour with waiting, Loki's shot, and the medication for Munchlet to work.  Loki surprisingly handled it well without going all ADHD on me or peeing everywhere.  He understood and laid down on the floor and just waited for everything to be done.  Thank you puppy for behaving when I was very outnumbered.  

Munchlet Eins (or FFP's Munchlet Eins, his show name) was born July 15th, 2006 to a breeder in Pittsburgh, PA.  I drove eight hours that September to pick him up.  We have been thought a lot, I actually had Munch before I even met my husband.  He competed in ferret shows in CT and PA during his prime.  He would have been six years old this July.  I hope wherever Munchie has gone (heaven, rainbow bridge, etc.) that he can now play cancer-free.   RIP Munchlet Eins, February 3rd, 2012.  

Munchlet Eins
I haven't cried much about the loss of my baby, having to have a D&C, or the loss of Munchlet.  Not sure if it is delayed.  Maybe I'm numb, I know it's a lot to go through in a short period of time.  Maybe I'm just pushing through because maybe I have no other choice.

An article on what military health insurance (Tricare) covers for infertility.  Tricare Coverage of Infertility by Christa Leigh  

1 comment:

  1. Here from LFCA to tell you how sad I am for all your losses. The loss of a dear pet can be so hard. They give such unconditional love. We lost Fluffy at the same time as losing my grandma, and a chemical pregnancy that wouldn't go away. It was easier to mourn the loss of the cat.


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