New Fertility Monitor

I bought myself a new toy.  I went with the OvaCue Fertility Monitor, oral and vaginal.  It was expensive, $330!  But I am SO sick of OPKs, and buying more OPKs each or every other cycle.  Then dragging the OPKs to work (or on vacation like last summer) and holding my pee in.  Since I have PCOS I have NO idea when or if I ovulate most of the time.  And my birthday is Wednesday, this is cause for a present.

It took me a year and half to get where I am now.  I'm hoping if I throw some Vitex down again, some softcups and have sex every other day I'll get knocked up again in a month or two, or three.  Not another year and half.  This is another stalling attempt on injectables and IUI.  Bean mentioned back in December that even if this PG ended in MC that at least we know I can get naturally PG now.  Not sure if that helped any.  

I decided to take a break from Facebook for at least a week.  It's too depressing.  Feel free to post on my wall or send me messages, I'll get back to you that way.  (I don't really mind if readers of this blog add me.)  Or "Like" the page for this blog.  But no more stalking the newsfeed.  Everyone is so happy with their PG announcements, or birth announcements, or cute baby photos, or just saying insensitive, stupid things.  I really want no part of it.  I'm sure I'll post something from time to time, and probably a cute puppy photo (because that's all I have).  But this is my "I don't care about anyone else" state which is really just to save my own sanity.  

I found this post by another blogger this morning:  The Facebook Miscarriage Announcement.  My favorite:

"10.  The Ultrasound Annoucement, Redoux (Inspired by Elphie’s #2): This one is specific to Blighted ovums. Post the ultrasound pic, with a big red arrow pointing to the empty sac. In case your pool of friends is particularly challenged, write “Doesn’t that Empty Sac look just like me?” above said red arrow."

That's the closest thing that I did.  Uploaded my two ultrasound photos into a generic January album.  Under I wrote when my D&C was scheduled for.  I figured they were a part of my life in January 2012 so that is where it belonged.  Luckly everyone seemed to read and I got no "congratulations", because if they did it would make them look like a huge ass.  I did get a few messages from other women that have gone through the same thing.  One that had a couple LEEPs herself and IUI.  So I think it helped.  

Work sucks lately.  I keep getting dizzy and it really more uncomfortable than anything.  My uterus/ovaries/something down there keeps getting sharp pains.  I have a fear I'll start bleeding out and that will be a mess, so there are frequent trips to the bathroom.  So I just feel yucky, along with emotionally.  I'm glad I'm only working four hours tonight.

Tomorrow morning I have another ultrasound at 7am.  This is the same as last weeks u/s.  Checking for a heartbeat, checking for growth.  

Best Case Scenario:  They miraculously find find a 9 week (or 8, or 7 week old baby) with a heartbeat of 120+ bpm.  -  This also has a less than 0% chance of happening. 

Second Best Case:  This find a 5w6d baby with zero heartbeat.  -  This is most likely.  As sad as it sounds I can move forward with D&C. 

Worst Case Scenario:  They find a 5w6d baby with a heartbeat.  -  Could happen.  This means the baby would be close to a month behind now and cause for D&C anyways.  

-Selbe