Wednesday, August 24, 2011

Ta-Ta Love

My new job is going great and everything.  I get paid to have about 100 different conversations each day.  And random topics like VW Beetles, M&Ms, iPhones, yogurt, Eureka, OPKs, and how my 38Ds can't fit into any of the cute bathing suit tops this place sells (or 36D, or 36DD, or whatever, ether way these tops are really cute, and they only cover like my nipple, it's pretty upsetting).  Whatever makes the time go by fast.  

But the one thing I hate the most, other than bitchy guests and back pain, is pregnant women!  And they ALL seem to find me.  It's like they pick out the infertile.  Just to show me their belly, or their other 15 fucking kids, or all those cute baby clothes.  Ok maybe they don't do this on purpose, but it feels like it.  I look and think: "fuck I got another one, third one today" or "maybe she's just fat, I hope she's just fat".  I've only talked to one of them (must have been a good day), the rest I've kind of been of been like eh.  Sometimes I like to stand up nice and straight and run my hand over my flat stomach.  That's right bitch, you won't see this for awhile.  And tomorrow I'm going to sleep in 'til 1 in the afternoon because I have no kids to wake me up.  Gee those diapers and formula sure look expensive, too bad I get to keep all my money to spend on myself... and IUI.  Yup it sure must suck being them.  

And the 38Ds are still nice and perky at age 26.  No pregnancy or breastfeeding to ruin them.  Although one night I told Bean if my boobs ever start sagging AND I never get to have kids, I'm getting them lifted back up.  I'm sure this was an angry night due to Clomid, birth control pills or something else.  Not sure if I'll ever do it.  But Bean went along with it, then again he knows not to argue when I'm in the mood like that.

I need to make myself feel better somehow.  This is called "coping".  Or maybe insanity.  

No IF news though.  No AF, no O, and still waiting on a referral for Bean's next SA.  

And I really do like my boobs.  Sometimes I look at other women's boobs, ether in public or their bra size (at work, because, yeah cashier and all), and think OMG they are so tiny.  I'm sure I look at more boobs than Bean, because I'll point out the really tiny or extremely saggy ones sometimes.  Sizes like 36B, fuck my boobs were bigger than that when I was 12.  I was an early bloomer, I started wearing bras when I was in the 3rd or 4th grade, the other girls pulled on the backs.  But by the time I was 12 I was already bigger than my mum (she was only a B cup).  Then I kept growing after that, not really sure where my big boobs came from because it wasn't her.  A and B cups I call "baby boobs".  I hope I never have boobs that small again.  

Errr this just became a post about my love for my ta-tas and and dislike of fertiles.  Least it wasn't depressing.
CD27, No O (just don't bother)


  1. Your rant made me smile...different situation, but I feel your pain about the fertile & pregnant women at the present isn't fair...and trying to make the best of it doesn't seem to help either...bah! Some day the light will seem brighter, colors more vibrant...but for now...colors are dull and pale :(

    You have inspired me to the thought of starting a blog about my journey...maybe it will help..

  2. Three cheers for the big chested girls! Sadly I don't think I have your luck in the saggy department. Mine are already starting to head south at the ripe old age of 28. Flaunt it if you got it friend!


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