Tuesday, August 2, 2011

Good & Bad News

Good:  My husband got promoted at work.  As of September he'll be a Chief.

Bad:  Bean now works even longer hours for this Chief training.  He leaves the house at 3AM, and gets home at 9PM.  So I don't see much of him.

Bad: Our vacation for next week got changed.  Originally we were going to leave the 8th and return around the 14th.  Now we are leaving in the evening on the 6th and returning the 9th.  Much less time and a good portion of it will be driving since it's 9 hours one way.  I'm not sure what to do.  I was really looking forward to it so I don't want to cancel it.  But I just think it's a waste to drive all that way to stay there for such a short time.  It's so upsetting since Bean and myself already got time off work for it.  Now with less than a week to spare they are telling him he can no longer go.  I'm done making plans, there is no point anymore.

Good:  By the time my child is born Bean will be a Chief.  Sure First Class was OK if we had to, but Chief is even better.  My child will be proud.

Good:  I started another round of Clomid on Sunday.

Bad:  I got increased to 150mg, my Clomid rage has already began.  I've only taken 2 doses (6 pills).

Bad:  I planned for O and lots of sex around the time of our vacation.  Since the dates no longer line up this probably won't happen.   I'm worried Bean will be to worn out for anything.

Bad:  I'm worried the great hope I had for this cycle is fading away quickly.  And it's only CD6.

FCNE Packet
Good:  I got a packet from my new RE in the mail for my upcoming appointment on the 18th.

Bad:  The packet is really nice with a bunch of brochures.  Nothing like the standard copy paper forms you get from a normal doctor before a visit.  This reinforced my theory that a RE is going to be expensive.  It's like they are trying to sell their services.  Not like there is much competition since they are the only one within an hour of here.

Good:  My  FSH (Follicle Stimulating Hormone) came back negative.  Meaning no low egg supply/low egg quality/ovarian failure/early menopause.  Not sure how accurate it is since it was the urine type, not blood.  But I'm sure it would be long before they take my blood for that too.

Good:  I got more allergy testing the other day.  Mold!

Bad:  After 78 needles in my right and left arms, I showed up positive to every type of mold.  No surprise.

I feel bad for those that didn't make Chief this year, especially those who have been eligible for 4+ times now.  (Bean got it on his first time.)  I'm trying to relate this to our IF journey.  I watch people get PG without trying or only after a month or so of trying.  Sometimes they do it all over again with baby #2, #3...  I get so fucking pissed since it's so easy for them.  I figure this is the same idea with a bunch of "why not me" and "but we've been trying for longer".  Ether way I still feel bad, hell some days I even feel bad for myself and my fucked up body.  So yeah... (I actually had good hope for this paragraph, but then got off track and realized it's 2AM.  I'm starting to get tired.)

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