Tuesday, May 29, 2012

My Doctor is an Asshole

IUI for June, and probably July, canceled.  After a few phone calls my day became pretty lousy.

I started spotting last Thursday right before my RE appointment.  Appointment went well and I was given the impression that when CD1 hit that I would call up and start Clomid CD3.  They even gave me all the paperwork with instructions on what number to call, when to take it, and what CD my other appointments would be on.  

The RE quickly mentioned about seeing a high risk OBGYN at some point.  She NEVER mentioned it was required to start CD3 Clomid.

I thought we were all set for the IUI.  Since I was spotting I assumed that would be sometime soon.

I normally spot before AF.  Usually just a few hours or a day.  Then it becomes heavy so nothing new there.  But I spotted all of Thursday, Friday, Saturday and Sunday.  Yesterday it stopped and nothing today ether.  That's weird for me.  I have never spotted for that long and then nothing.  The heaviest flow I got was maybe to fill a quarter size spot on pantiliner.  That's after wearing it all day.

I got concerned and called up the nurses line this morning.  This was first day they were open after the long weekend.  I had one simple question.  I spotted for four days then nothing.  Should I start Clomid anyways, do Provera or just keep waiting? 

The nurse told me that probably was my period.  I haven't had AF since April 1st and my lining was 15mm on last weeks ultrasound.  That was NOT my period.  She was confused by 15mm, so I said 1.5cm.  She then said, "oh you mean 1.5mm."  No fifteen, a whole fifteen millimeters!  I might be American but I do know some metric.  Trust me, 15mm lining and 60 days since my last AF means a lot more blood than a few pantiliners.  There is more in there.  

She then tells me she can't give me the Clomid or even the basic Provera until I have my first appointment with the high risk OBGYN.  Umm ok, but that's not what the doctor told me last week.

I'm told to call the appointment line to book a visit with the OBGYN.  I called it, they said they don't schedule appointments for that office by the appointment line.  Ok?  They gave me the number for information so they can give me the direct number for the OBGYN.

I called information and the operator rattled off a bunch of numbers off quick because I could write them down.  I had to ask three times.

Call number four was to the OBGYN clinic.  The start of the conversation was the basic myself telling them I need to book an appointment.  She quickly asked, "when your due date?"  I explained about the Clomid and needing a check up appointment.  She asked me when my due date was again.  Seriously?  I again explained about fertility drugs and bad cervix.  She then told me I had a wrong number and asked where I was calling.  I told her ADC (which I guess stands for high risk OBGYN, somehow).  Yup, I got the right place.  So she asked my due date again.  Then I'm put on hold while they look for my referral.

Quiet tears began running down my face.  I'm frustrated and being pushed off from office to office.  I was also lead to believe this IUI was soon rather than later.

They came back on the phone and told me the next available appointment was July 11th!  I began crying hysterically.  They won't even think about starting me on Provera 'til this appointment.  I'll be CD102 at this point.

Bean had to grab the phone and talk to them.  They were able to get me in June 26th but that's the best they could do.

I was stuck, what am I going to do?

Bean left a message at the RE letting them know how unhappy we were about the treatment.

I called up a little while later and the nurse still said no Provera, no Clomid, no IUI 'til I have the appointment on the 26th.  They are still discussing it with the doctor.  

First off, they NEVER said the appointment with the high risk OBGYN was required before starting fertility treatment.  They have never even seen my cervix in person, only what the last RE made notes of.  I discussed it the cervical cerclage with my last RE and OBGYN.  They told me it MIGHT be needed.  And the OBGYN said they wouldn't even be able to tell 'til an ultrasound at 12 weeks.  I'm not even PG, I don't see the point in rushing me off to an OBGYN now.  And if it is such an urgent matter then why is the next appointment six weeks away?

The nurse began telling Bean all the things that could happen if my cervix fails.  I could miscarry or do into labour early.  Then all the health problems the baby would have if born at X number of weeks.  I would have deal with those thing alone while my husband was deployed.  How would I deal with a dead or blind baby?  

This has gone too far.  I called up for one simple question and I got this.  If I didn't worry about PG before, I do now.  

I cried off and on for hours after this.

I have Provera left over from before that I started taking tonight.  I mentioned last September how I save medication because I don't trust doctors.  Odd that!  I don't know what else to do.  I can't move on with the Clomid even if I have AF or not.  But I also can't sit here without AF for much longer.  The surgery in October showed the abrasions in my uterus from holding onto the lining for too long.  Plus the heavy flow with clotting can be painful.  It's just not healthy sitting around doing nothing.  I'm sorry for going behind the doctor's back and "prescribing" it to myself.  But I asked for the drug nicely and I know what's best for myself.  

After my high risk OBGYN on June 26th I then had to make another appointment with the RE about three weeks after that.  If this is the case I'm going to ask for Gonal-F instead of Clomid.  It's what my other RE wanted and I have no faith in Clomid anymore.   

Since it looks like no Clomid or IUI this cycle I went to the vitamin store and stocked up on herbs that are supposed to be good for fertility.  The list to balance out my hormones:

  • Vitex 1200mg daily - I've been taking this since September.  Though it worked before it has since stoppe since my MC.  But at this point I have nothing left to loss.
  • Dong Quai 1130mg daily
  • Maca 300mg daily 
  • Red Clover Blossom 800mg daily
  • Milk Thistle 175mg daily
To induce my period:
  • Provera 10mg daily
  • Vitamin C 6000mg daily



  1. That is so frustrating ... what a mess of miscommunication. Sorry :(

  2. I'm so sorry that you're having such a shitty time with this. I hope things get better for you.

  3. So sorry I know that has to be frustrating. I went through the same thing when I was sent for genetic counseling before TTC b/c of my previous loss. Getting transfered back and forth between clinics and asking my due date and no one understanding what I wanted or needed and my referral not getting put in properly. I broke down and cried to the right person and finally got somewhere. It sucks that it takes that to get help and how they magically have sooner appts when you do that too!

  4. Oh my gosh! How awful! That's why I hate dealing with obgyns for infertility related stuff, they're absolutely worthless and only cause more frustration!

    I hoard meds too... I have a box full of fertility drugs on my kitchen table and some in my fridge. I can't shake that feeling that I'll "need them" someday.

    I'm a huge fan of Dong Quai! I've used it to bring on a period after a long cycle and within 2-3 days it comes and hasn't failed me yet! It also made me O CD 14 for the first and only time ever! Fertility drugs couldn't even get me that! Good luck!

    1. I'm happy to hear about the Dong Quai. I'm taking that and Provera so one of them will have to bring AF on soon. I went too long without health insurance years ago. I'll even hoard antibiotics. Bean says I have problems but he doesn't know what it's like to be without insurance or just dealing with horrible doctors.

  5. I'm so sorry for the highly disappointing visit. This is just not the way to get the relationship started, is it?

    Do you know if this is standard practice for REs? Is seeing a different RE a possibility?

    1. This isn't my first RE. Although I was never a huge fan of my last one he is starting to look real good now! Due to my insurance this is the only RE I can be sent to. We are military and can only go to military hospitals. They are currently working on another referral to have me sent out out into the civilian worlds.


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