Game Over

IUI #1.5... failed.

After five days of spotting and calling up the RE with the WTF question it finally came.  I would count Friday as CD1 but my flow didn't pick up 'til really late at night, so today it is.  I can't start my new cycle of meds 'til Monday anyways.  

My husband got deployed last week.  In the last couple months he had frozen sperm incase IUI #1 #1.5 didn't work.  Which is great now because I can use it and be the talk of every bored military wife if it does work.  The bad thing is that frozen sperm doesn't always hold up as well as the fresh stuff.  Many die in the freeze and thaw.  We also have low count to begin with.  Plus we can't get extra sexy time in before and following the IUI like last time.  The odds are not in our favor.

My Choices:

1. Pay $10k at least and have IVF done at a doctor outside of the military, going ahead of the military wait list.
2. Do IUI #2 with frozen sperm.
3. Do nothing.

I'm going with the second one.  We have two vials in storage, enough for two IUIs well he's gone.  Tentatively mid-September for #2 and mid-October for #3.  I'll put TTC on hold after October.  If the thaw for IUI #2 is really bad then I'll just stop there.  

For IUI #2 I'll start Femara Monday, U/S around the 7th and IUI around the 11th.

I did cry when I knew this didn't work (which has been several days now).  It was more of a combined cry with my upcoming due date (another post).  Which is now CD1!  It's hard for me to understand 1 egg to 13 million sperm in such a small place.  Where does it go wrong?  Not one of those fucking 13 million could find the egg?  

IUI Success Rate - Source

I'm getting rid of baby aspirin also.  Not sure if it helped my follicle grow or if it was all Femara.  I had 10mm follicle with 6mm lining on Clomid.  Compared to 17.5mm follicle with 8 mm lining on Femara.  But if I do crappy on my next follicle scan they'll just move me to injectables like I've been asking for anyways.  All I will waste is time.  That is fine because my race to get pregnant by the end of 2011   have an apocalypse baby   to give birth in 2012    to get pregnant before my due date to beat the deployment is over. 

Normally an RE will tell you your best chance of success from IUI will be in the first three cycles.  Not saying it won't happen, just less likely.  Depending on why you think the IUI failed, how hopeful you are and the price difference between IUI vs IVF, this can move up or delay IVF.  Or in my case a really long wait list, cheap IUI and nothing but time to kill.  I will probably make it to 5 or 6 IUI (if unsuccessful) before IVF.

Deployment

As for my husband's business trip I don't know where he went or when he'll be back.  We have very limited contact.  No Skype, Facetime, Internet, phone call, text messages, snail mail or emails.  I can send him 10 messages the whole deployment and each has to be under 50 words.  Good ol' family grams.  Each one is read by someone before it is sent off, and then read aloud in front of a bunch of people before it is given to him.  Not much privacy there.  I can't say anything too depressing or it won't get sent, or too much "code" text.  And he won't respond to any of them, ever.  There is nothing I can do to get him to come home early, except for maybe dying.  I'm on my own.  I also have a lot of free time.

Etsy

I re-listed a bunch of my old stuff I made on Etsy.  Only thing that really sell is my small animal bedding sets, which goes for about $30 a set.  I'm paid by PayPal for everything, which I then use to buy other things online.  I feel like I get things for free that way.  Problem is I don't put much effort into it.  If I made new bedding all the time and advertised I'm make a lot more.  Right now I get about five orders a week.  

-Selbe