Long Walks

Bean and I (and the dog) went to visit some local parks today.  We wanted to go hiking but didn't wake up early enough to drive out there, hike the 8 mi (13 km) and get back before dark.  (We like to sleep in around here.)

I got a new camera last week, Samsung MV800.  I have a lot of cameras.  Normally I use a Pentax K-5 or just my iPhone.  I have a Pentax W80 I use from time to time also.  They all have things I love about them, and things I hate about them.  So it really depends on my mood and what I'm photographing.  

Clomid

My first day of Clomid went well.  No side effects except peeing a lot.  But I usually don't have side effects 'til my last couple pills or after I'm done with them all together (Thursday).  Puppy even sat in front of me as I was getting them out today.  He begs for anything that resembles food.  It's amazing how quick he ass hits the floor when you have a "treat".  He learned that sit = treat.  So now it sits, and sometimes stands back up and sits back down over and over again, just incase I missed it.  Odd thing is he only eats about 3% of the food I actually give him.  He still begs though, even with stuff like blueberries and Clomid.   

(PS the dog didn't get fertility drugs...)

Goals for This Cycle

Yup, I have more of them.

• Don't post anything negative on here 'til CD1. - This goes for depressing thoughts about my fertility, miscarriage and making fun of fertile women that give advice without actually knowing what they are talking about to begin with.  And no angry doctors posts.
• "Remember 100 worked before, and with the trigger it's different.  There is hope." - I was feeling down today so I wrote that on my phone so I could keep looking at it.  I keep thinking Clomid, been there done that.  (I did up to 150mg last year but was unresponsive.)  So I've been far from enthused about my sixth round of the drug.  But 100mg did work for 2 (out of the 3) cycles I took it last spring.  And I'll have monitoring now, and the trigger to release my eggs, and sperm pumped in my uterus.  So it will be different this time (I hope).
• Don't worry. - About my upcoming IUI, or the fear of losing baby in the future due to my cervix.  Today can't fix the future.
• I want to run/walk every other day, then just walk during my TWW. - I hear it's healthy, or something.   
• I want to paint pottery or something else really creative at least once a week. - For my mind.
• I want to try and get out more and less time sitting home. - Going to the store doesn't count.
• I want to try and get around to commenting on more TTC blogs. - I tend to slack at that sometimes.
• I need to stay away from some Facebook groups, and spend more time on others.  Also, less time newsfeed stalking Facebook.
• Spend more time on Baby Center groups. - The IUI and Clomid on, not the March/April 2013 group.  Stay away from the due date groups if you have struggled with any type of infertility or ever had any type of pregnancy loss. 
• I need to stop hiding so much behind my infertility and come out more about it. - I want to be there to support for those that are in the same situation, or for those that are just starting out and looking for information about infertility, PCOS or even cervical dysplasia.  Last week I opened up the Chalkboard Project to about 1/4 of my friend and family on Facebook that know what I going through.  I hope to eventually get brave enough to open it to 100%.

Fifty Followers

I officially have 50 followers on this blog.  Not sure if that is good or bad but the number is slowly going up over time.  

Thankful for Bean

I'm so thankful for my husband someday.  He goes along with this idea and doesn't ever question it (well once right before surgery #1 but that was decades ago now).  He given multiple "samples" for semen analysis.  And then drives the hours one way to jerk off some more for cryopreservation.  I know it's not easy doing your business in the strange room with people walking around outside.  He calls up without hesitation to check on the results.  

(PS One vial last week!  We currently have two frozen, enough for two IUIs without him here.)

He's also great with the appointments also.  I know he can't go to 100% of them.  When he's on a "business trip" he's gone for months on end and far far away from here.  When he's home the hours are long, sometimes working 6-7 days a week.  He tries to get away from work to go but I know he can't always.  Some appointments are not that important anyways.  Sometimes there are several a week and I don't even know how I remember them all.

But he did go to all four of the baby ultrasounds.  He went to the post-op and planning appointments.  He got the time off for all four times I went to the surgery center, sat with me, filled my medication, drove me home (sometimes while I threw up in the car), feed me and tucked me in.  

He's also dealt with any mood swings I've had thanks to these drugs.  And my nausea by driving to the nearest gas station to get me ginger ale.

(For those that know me in real life, you already know what my husband does for a living.  I've mentioned it briefly on here, but he has recently been sent somewhere new.  It is military.  I can not post any dates, locations, or what department he is assigned to.  I actually can not even give this information out to family.  Like in the past, we'll call it "business trips".  Thanks for understanding.)

-Selbe