Monday, May 7, 2012

F'ing Cramps & Adventures in Mowing

They really hurt today.  Well more than I can ignore for having cramps without a period.  I put a heating pad on, took Midol and ate a banana (I recently read that helps with menstrual cramps).  They should go away soon.  I felt my cervix, it feels much more open today.  

My last post might of been a little too anti-mothers day.  Sorry!  I did have to take a trip to 1800Flowers.  Fuck, they are so expensive, it sucks living far away from family.  You can't just go to the grocery store and get a cheap bunch of flowers to hand over (and I KNOW Bean does this to me, I get "gas station" roses often.)  I want to buy myself an orchid now, they are so pretty and supposed to be good for fertility.  (Not like I'm a good judge of fertile or anything.)

It sucks being a military wife sometimes, I'm ditched by my husband for long periods of time.  There are tasked women pawn off on their husbands, man jobs.  Like taking the garbage out, carrying heavy things, snow removal, fixing the car or washer, and today's job... lawn mowing.

My father taught me how to mow the lawn years ago, I was like 10 years old.  It was on an old ride on mower with the engine in the back (which you don't see too many of anymore) and when you are young and "driving" for the first time it is fun.  I might of used the push mower once.  Anyways it was a long time again and I don't remember much from it.

We just bought our first house.  Before we were renting and was lucky enough to have someone mow our lawn for us.  There's a long list of things be need for our house including a dining room set (currently using a card table) and a bed for the guest room (currently a futon mattress on the floor).  But those can wait and the lawn is going to look like a field eventually.  Bean and I went to Lowe's (they sent nice coupons in the mail) and stood in front of the row of mowers.  

We have a middle size lawn with a few tight spots.  Ride on seemed too much for the lawn and our wallet (started at $1000).  Manual push mower seemed OK but maybe a lot of work.  Not sure if the blades get dull or how many time you need to go over a spot.  I also thought they would be less for something manual (started at $150).  We went with a push mower (ranged from $250-350).  Bean asked which one I wanted, they all look the same to me.  My options:  A. basic model, B. A+speeds, or C. A+B+key start.  Speeds?  I then learned they are self propelled now, I don't remember that years ago.  We got C.

Bean came home, put it together and wanted to mow that day after it rained.  I told him you can't mow wet grass (unsure why).  This is the only piece of useful mowing knowledge I had.  

So Bean is gone and it didn't rain today (we live in Washington after all).  I was told to turn the key, hold the bar down and push.  Didn't seem too hard.  I did the backyard, for "self propelled" this thing is really hard to push.  It's easier to go down hills than up.  I ran over a few of the dog's favorite sticks. It doesn't have a good turning radius.  And I missed a bunch of spots.  I finally got it done and somewhat decent looking.  I'm covered in grass and sweat.  Along the way I also remember I'm allergic to gas (and weeds and trees).  

Front yard, I turned the mower off to remove some lawn ornaments.  Tired to turn it back on with the key and it wouldn't start.  

I filled it with more gas, spilled it all over my hands.  That wasn't it.

I emptied the grass collection bag.  Got grass everywhere.

I cleaned out the bottom of the mower and blade.  

I pulled the cord start thing.

Then called Bean who also had no idea how to get it to work and told me to try the cord again.

It worked!  I start mowing, and it stops.  Pull the cord, mow a few feet and it stops again.  Hmm.

I think maybe since the bag isn't on that grass is stuck under and making it to stop.

How does the bag attach?  How did I get it off in the first place?

Called Bean and he told me how.

I also learned at this time that there is a bar to change the speeds.  I was driving it in neutral, hence why I was struggling to push it.  Way easier to work now.  

I go on my way again.  Until I backed the mower up, the bag went under and the mower blades got to it.

Duct Tape Fix
I called Bean again and asked how much a new bag runs for.  Then told him this one has lots of holes in it.  He asked me how.  I started laughing.  

Yeah, I'm a fucking idiot.

I used some military strength duct tape and temporarily covered the hole.

I got the lawn done, not pretty but it's done.

Someone really should have sat down and showed me the basics of push mowing.  


  1. Um, you were totally supposed to get the One Lovely Blog Award, and I somehow left you out of the list! AHHHH! Anyway, I would still love to give it to you, and I have updated my post accordingly. I'm sorry for the mistake.

  2. Got to love the military strength duct tape...that red tape has saved a many of a day at my house!

  3. LOL! Well, you learned in the end, right?


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