I've learned with infertility nothing ever goes as you planned it. You can't just say you want to be pregnant now, or in the fall time, or give birth in the spring (common one of teachers so they have summer for maternity leave). You don't get to pick. And if something does go as planned I'm sure something else will come along to fuck it up.
A past plan of mine with having a baby while we live here. My husband will we home for the birth and good part of the babies first few months, at least. And I really like my OB Dr. S. It's hard for me to find a good doctor, I have a problem trusting a lot of them. Great plan? Back in July I mentioned I had to let those ideas go when I learned I ran out of time.
Even before all this I mentioned I wanted a baby born December 22, 2012. I'm just strange like that. Or December 2012, or even just fucking 2012. I like even numbers. Years ago these date seemed far off and not a concern. Well once again I had to admit I have run out of time.
April 9th, 2012
That is the date I need to ovulate by to have an EDD of December 31, 2012. Give or take some. Looking ahead this probably will not happen.
This cycle (February) is most likely a bust and my period is due next Tuesday-ish. Next cycle (March) I am out. I have surgery and really can't do any baby making. So I will be back in April.
I'm sad to be doing nothing in March but it will be a nice break. Plus I will be back in April with clean insides.
New Goal: Baby by 2020, or something.
|I still see two lines...|
All I can say is I'm glad I'm going through all this now and not in my 30's or 40's. That would make my already problems worse. I sometimes feel bad for the women in the RE office that are much older. They probably hate me, looking like I'm 20 and all. I don't blame them. However, we are all in the same miserable spot.
Sometimes you just have to let some dreams go and move on. It was a stupid dream anyways.-Selbe