Bean has been asking me to get a dog for about three years now. In the past we've had up to five ferrets and some fish. That means lots of mouths to feed and poop to pick up after. My husband is also gone a good part of the time so I'm cleaning up after it. I've been saying no over and over again to a dog.
Finally about four months ago I agreed we could get a dog. I figured after this year my life couldn't get any crappier than it already is. That and I really do like to take care of things.
We haven't gotten very far in the puppy process because we both are set on two completely different types of dogs, and whenever one of us is willing to compromise the other isn't. We have decided on a puppy over an adult dog. Yes, I know there are millions of pets in shelters but we have a few reasons:
- Our current pets love most animals but not everything loves them. (Buddy chases dogs at pet stores, most run away in fear of his little 2.5 lb body barreling at them. He doesn't want to hurt them, but just wants to play.) It's much easier to integrate them when the dog is young.
- I've never had a dog before, ever. I'm afraid it will be set in its ways and I won't know what to do with it.
- And the number one reason: I want a newborn baby. I'm envious of everyone who can have one. I understand the work and they are adorable and I want to hold my own. I'm pissed millions of people can get them for free, sometimes even by mistake. What do I have: nothing. And I may never have my own newborn baby. So I tried to think of the next best thing, other than buying a newborn human at $25k. A puppy. I want one as young as possible, and I know that is selfish. But I've done my time with doctors visits, procedures and miserable meds. At the very least I deserve a fucking puppy. Just saying.
There needs to be a program: Free puppies for infertiles. So far I think the only thing I've gotten is free socks and hospital wristbands. Not saying I don't love my medical socks, they really are warm and comfy.
My current pets are getting older. My one ferret passed away a couple weeks ago, the other is pretty sick, other two are fine but they are now seniors. My goldfish passed away in the spring, I had to dig up my plants this week because the military won't move them in the spring and I've killed all the other house plants of accident. I'm running out of things to take care of.
- This thing will be spoiled. (Then again my current pets are also.)
- I will attempt to put clothes on it. Not going to lie there.
- If it is a girl (which Bean wants) everything will be pink, and there might be some bows.
- It better be young.
- It better be cute too.
- Hopefully it stays cute.
- I'm not looking forward to extra fur.
- My ferrets eat dog food, this might be really good or really bad.
- I don't have to wait 9 months to get it.
- I can lock it put when it gets annoying. (I think that is how it works.)
- I'm not really looking forward to sharing my bed.
- I don't really like poop.
- I don't care how much it costs. (Because I'm 100% sure it will be cheaper than fertility treatment.)
- I hope this thing doesn't eat every non-edible thing I own.
- There will be puppy training classes.
I don't know much about dogs. But crackwhore mum didn't know much about babies before she got knocked up on that one night stand. So we'll just go with it.
I realized I had brown stuff all over my shoes and pants today when I got to work. It was literally everywhere. Only thing I can think of is I stepped in dog shit. Bean had to bring me new clothes because I wasn't going to spend the next 7 hours like that. That was my amazing morning.