What If

What IF: A Portrait of Infertility

I really just wanted to get the surgery over with Thursday so I was kind of disappointed when they told me it was canceled.  I thought I could easily pass off as a non-sick person.  I tried my best not to look exhausted and snotty when I arrived at the surgery center.  They had me change and started hooking me up to the machines before they took my temperature. But in all honestly it was probably for the best.  I was feeling really crappy and I'm sure I would have been even worse post-surgery.  I didn't feel anywhere near ready.

I talked to work and they were able to change the schedule for the new surgery date.  Bean has to work so I don't know if he'll be able to come pick me up now.  If not I'm sure I could find at least one person in the area to come get me and drop me off at home.  My post-op appointment at the RE is now November 3rd. 

I'm still shocked I got AF all on my own.  Every once and awhile I mention my insides hurt, somewhere around my ovaries or uterus.  I usually just pass it off as sore insides from rough sex or sore muscles from the gym (honestly those are probably better assumptions).  I had this happen about two weeks ago, even thought it might be O pains but that's a silly thought and just forgot about it.  Same thing the last couple days.  Turns out those pains are menstrual cramps.

Still don't get how my body can't work with Clomid 50, 100 and 150mg, but all of a sudden do its job when I have nothing at all in my system.  Only thing I can think of is my Vitex worked.  I'm never really sure about herbal medicine.  I always figure if they really work then the drug companies would have found some way to market them by now.  I'm not really sure how that works.  Maybe I even ovulated?

So goals for the next few weeks:

• Lap Surgery (take two) - October 27th CD11
• Saliva Ferning (maybe) - CD7+
• OPK - CD12+
• Post-Op - November 3rd CD18

-Selbe

CD5