Can't Wait to Buy My Own Baby

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A few of my friends have recently had a child or will be soon.  It makes me want to say, "I can't wait to have my own baby", but really I am thinking "I can't wait to buy my own baby".  Adoption or fertility treatments, nothing is free.  Unless of course I was a fertile.  Minus the initial investment in the $8 pregnancy test, everything is free to them.  And honestly I feel like I'm closer to adoption than conceiving my own naturally.  

I'm not 100% set in stone on it though.  I have two options for adoption, a newborn or an older child.

Newborn

I really want a newborn, I want to have a baby from the start.  Something I can teach from day one.  But a newborn costs a lot of money, about $20-30k according to Google.  And how would I feel about someone else carrying my child around for 9 months?  Would they treat it the same way I would have?  Did they do drugs?  What if it looks nothing like my husband and I?  Do we get our money back if the birth mother backs out?  There are too many questions and too many uncertainties.  

Older Child

Less money but still a long wait and lots of paperwork.  My mum left when I was 11 so I know what it feels like to be dumped like a child in foster care has been.  I can help.  I wouldn't want anyone else to go through what I have.  I feel at least I can save them.  This makes me cry but it's the truth and something that is always on the back of my mind.  

But I'll probably just hang out with the fertility treatments awhile longer.  I'm really awesome with needles, blood and pain so I'm a good candidate.  And it costs less than adoption (for now).  

CD17, OPK- (Umm ovaries are you even going to do anything this month?)