But there are some days I just feel like shit. I don't give a crap about your unborn baby or your children. I just want to be left alone and if you talk to me you probably won't like what I have to say. Those are the days you stay away from me. Those are the days you don't invite me to a baby shower.
The next baby shower is early June. I was kind of looking forward to it, and then my second round of Clomid ended with a BFN. I'm going to try to make myself look presentable and happy. But I have no promises. All I can picture is a house full of pregnant women and moms, and then me on the side. I've got nothing. Even if I had a few words to add to their conversation I would just get thrown to the side anyways because I'm not a mom. Therefore I have no right.
I emailed the person throwing the shower to let them know I might not stay the entire time and might be out of it. I figured that's the least I can do.
And I'm not going to Babies"R"Us or even the Wal-Mart baby section to buy gifts. They are getting a gift card. It's just too depressing, plus I'd end up buying all the cute stuff for my nonexistent child. I made a rule awhile ago that I can not go into the baby section. I can walk around the outside of it and look in. Occasionally judging the women shopping in there. But I can not go in until I have a BFP. Sorry!