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But there are some days I just feel like shit. I don't give a crap about your unborn baby or your children. I just want to be left alone and if you talk to me you probably won't like what I have to say. Those are the days you stay away from me. Those are the days you don't invite me to a baby shower.
The next baby shower is early June. I was kind of looking forward to it, and then my second round of Clomid ended with a BFN. I'm going to try to make myself look presentable and happy. But I have no promises. All I can picture is a house full of pregnant women and moms, and then me on the side. I've got nothing. Even if I had a few words to add to their conversation I would just get thrown to the side anyways because I'm not a mom. Therefore I have no right.
I emailed the person throwing the shower to let them know I might not stay the entire time and might be out of it. I figured that's the least I can do.
And I'm not going to Babies"R"Us or even the Wal-Mart baby section to buy gifts. They are getting a gift card. It's just too depressing, plus I'd end up buying all the cute stuff for my nonexistent child. I made a rule awhile ago that I can not go into the baby section. I can walk around the outside of it and look in. Occasionally judging the women shopping in there. But I can not go in until I have a BFP. Sorry!
I totally understand! I am really dreading the fact that I can't sneak out early from the shower I'm going to next since I'm one of the hosts.
ReplyDeleteLuckily I have a great excuse for most. I live in a different state than most of my family so expensive airfare is a great excuse.
I will be there with you just so you know. We can be non moms together and have our own conversations. :)
ReplyDeleteoH the baby showers... I take comfort in knowing that my friends are the center of attention, and that they really are so happy, and that it is the right thing to do to celebrate this major life transition. Having said that, adult beverages help, as does a buddy that I can attend with so that I have a safe person to talk to, and a late entrance, early exit have been my strategies. People are so caught up in themselves at those things that no one really notices.. I've made my appearance, and shared my love with the family, and thats what is most important. right? I say all of this even now that I am actually pregnant, it is still hard.
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