Wednesday, May 25, 2011

Infertile Myrtle

My new shipment of OPKs (digital Clearblue and cheap ones) arrived from Amazon today.  It's kind of depressing.  I look at them and all I can think is how I have to spend another week+ peeing all over my hand.  Honestly 90% of the time I miss those little cups (which are actually leftover jello shot cups) and piss on my hand instead.  I should just buy wider cups.

Of course who doesn't own a tube of Pre-seed, the "sperm friendly" lubricant.  Not that I ever need lube but with Clomid I'm told my CM (cervical mucus) is decreased so I need to make my vagina a friendly place for my husband's sperm (who probably just swim in circles anyways.)  The most interesting part is filling the applicators with the lube, which is a really thick gel.  Then inserting it so it's nice and close to my cervix.  I'm supposed to wait 15 minutes before BDing, but we never do.  I'm impatient. Bean says it make things all "warm" inside.  I don't notice a difference though.

My saliva ferning microscope is pretty cool (the lipstick looking thing).  It sounds kind of gross sticking your saliva on a lens, waiting for it to dry and then staring at it.  But compared to urinating all over my hand or shoving my fingers in my vagina to check to see how soft/hard my cervix is, or playing with my own CM to see how stretchy it is, saliva ferning is pretty low maintenance.  So we get along well.

The purple things are Instead Softcups.  They are actually menstrual cups but used for TTC too.  They keep the swimmers close to the cervix.  I tried them a few times for AF.  The longest I've been able to keep them in without leaking is 6 hours (they are made for up to 12 hours.)  And removing them ends in a huge mess since I tend to "dump" it before it's even out of me.  But I'm going to keep trying.

I also want to try Mucinex or Robitussin since it helps with CM.  

Yay! (with some sarcasm)

PS My Clomid anger is beginning.  I apologize in advance for my depressed mood and any insults I might make.

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