I had my first ever ultrasound today. Honestly it was depressing.
When we think ultrasound, we think of the one during the first trimester of pregnancy. It's an exciting time. The U/S is the first time you get to "see" your baby. It's so magical.
My experience was far from magical. The place I went to seemed nice, I just wasn't in a happy mood. I was in the waiting room with another women my age. She stared at me the whole time, I tried not to make eye contact. A few minutes later a nurse came out to congratulate her. I couldn't help but think that maybe she was thinking I was just like her. :/
Another FaceBook contact announced she is pregnant this week. I said my fake congrats. But since there has been several posts a day about morning sickness, maternity clothes and other pregnancy related things. I understand she is excited but... Anyways her first U/S was today also. The comment that upset me most was "I am hoping to have a picture to share".
I didn't get to look at the screen, I didn't get a photo to bring home. It's not like I knew what I'd be looking at anyways. I felt distanced, saddened and alone. Let's just say this is not what I imagined.
On a positive note, I should get a call from my GYN in a few days with the results. I'm hoping to look normal inside, or at least fixable. And I really can fit 32oz of water somewhere in my body at one time.
I hope one day very soon you'll be able to post about a "magical" ultrasound. In the meantime...hang in there.
ReplyDeleteThanks! I'm in a little less depressing mood today. :)
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry :( Hide that friend--you don't need that constant reminder.
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