The Anonymous Pregnant Person
I love Pinterest. I pin random crap for the twins I am having soon. Nursery, baby shower ideas (not sure if I'm even having one yet), and maternity photos. And then other people repin those things and I'm like whatever. Every once and awhile I see someone repin my pin and I don't recognize their name. So I'm like who the hell are you? I check their profile and just see it's some random person on the Internet because that's how Pinterest works. And there it is, their profile picture. Big belly and all! Meh they are pregnant. I kind of feel... I don't know. They can actually use this idea. And I'm not pregnant with my future twins yet so I am way a head of myself planning. Which is awesome because I'm not waiting 'til last minute like this 8 month along anonymous pregnant person. Though since my last loss I have no interest starting a nursery 'til at least 30+ weeks. But I did pin a bunch of stuff on Pinterest which makes me much farther ahead than anonymous preggo. Selbe = amazing.
It Is The Squeaky Wheel That Gets The Grease
I'm not really one to draw a lot of attention to myself. Even as a child I was this way. It's usually other people in my life that are attention whores and I like that most of the time. As I've mentioned on this blog from time to time, please don't pity me for my infertility or any other crap that has happened in my life. I don't want people to feel sorry for me. I'm here to tell my story so I can help others that are going though something similar (now, past or future). And for the people that are affected by infertility threw a friend, daughter, sister, whoever. Infertility isn't something you "get" until you stepped in the shoes yourself.
Every once and awhile I hear someone (person A) tell me a story of a friend or relative (person B) they know. The story is about how bad they (B) have it and this person (A) feels awful and pities them. This happens for all different things but lets use infertility as an example. So they (A) start talking about how this person they know (B) has to have lap surgery, or an HSG. Or maybe just basic Clomid or trying for a "really long time". Something that I've already been through. And I stand there listening to sentence after sentence of pity and how horrible it is. I don't know if I should bring out my own squeaky wheel and be like, "well I've had an HSG myself and blah blah blah it was so much worse." Then this person will feel bad for me too... maybe. Or maybe they'll bring up another point of why the other person (B) has it way worse than me, something that usually is bull shit. I've realized I don't like people feeling sorry for me and I'm a crappy squeaky wheel. Most of the time I say nothing at all except for the occasion "umm OK". Looking like a heartless bitch is better in my eyes than a whiny bitch.
But I really do want to say an HSG or whatever it is really isn't the worst thing in the world. There are many other things and people that have it worse. If I'm going to have pity for someone it is going to be them instead.
Sometimes I think people don't realize there really is worse out there.
Or those people that purposely want others to feel bad for me. I don't know how they can live with themselves. Grow some ovaries.
CD67, longest cycle in over a year and half. I finished my Provera the other day and my EDD for AF is June 19. These menstrual cramps suck. (Who would of thought you could have AF cramps without AF?) My boobs are also sore from this cycle of Provera, which makes sense since it's progesterone. Provera has never given me sore boobs before.
My Apple Juice is Fertile
On one of my forums a member posted how they tried a home pregnancy test in a few types of juices. I decided to give this a try also in apple, orange juice and tap water.
|Top: Apple Juice|
Middle: Orange Juice
Bottom: Tap Water
Congratulation apple and orange juice! Tap water... well another round of fertility meds for you and I.
I'm not sure what is in the juice that it is picking up hCG hormone. Whether it is naturally in it or something added. If anyone has the answer let me know. Anyways it's kind of gross that pregnancy hormone are in juice.