Giant maxi pads are unsexy.
This was inspired by Bébé Suisse's post.
I don't normally wear pads. They are thick (well getting thinner), and long like a giant diaper. I can't wear the normal short ones because I bleed out the front or the back each time I've used them. Not sure if it's me or if I'm not supposed to move in them or something. They are uncool and I can't wear them with a thong. And I'm still worried people can see my pad outline by looking at my butt, yes I thought I'd outgrow this too. They are avoid at all cost.
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I finally got rid of them all right before I got pregnant, prefect timing. Then I lost my baby. I was stuck going to Wal-Mart to find some sort of giant pad for this problem. It's not like a can stick a tampon in there and come back 8 hours later. I'm going to A. miscarry at home, where the baby and everything baby related is going to fall out of me, or B. I'll have a D&C, and then I can't stick anything inside me for awhile anyways so pads are the only option.
I walked up and down the aisle looking at all the options. I've heard the horror story of gushing blood and baby parts everywhere. What would be the best pad since it's like like they market ones just for this.
(After my D&C it never ended up being that bad, so I was OK.)
I got to the checkout and the cashier started talking about the product I choose and whether I liked it. I responded with some quick answer. And then she went on and on about the product. I stopped listening.
What I wanted to say: "I have a dead baby inside of me and I'm only buying this product because I'm in the middle of a miscarriage and I really hope to get knocked up again soon after this so I never have to use the product again."
I know the friendly Wal-Mart cashier doesn't want to hear this. I just move along.
The current dose of medication:
- Provera 10mg - 1x day (I think for three more days, to induce my period, medically)
- Vitex 400mg - 3x a day = 1200mg (forever pretty much, to level out my hormones)
- Vitamin C 500mg - 4 at a time, 3x a day = 6000mg (two or three more days, to induce my period, herbally)
Do I have a say even if I'm not a mother, or haven't been pregnant for 40 weeks?
I saw this conversation on Facebook the other day. Nothing against the person who posted it, conversations like this happen all the time. As infertile women (with no children), do we even have a say when it comes to parenting and pregnancy? Because we are not a mother are we just expected to keep quiet? Sometimes I do feel odd when I'm put in conversations with people that talk about their pregnancy and a new baby. What do you really want me to say? And is what I say really taken seriously?
Here's a shocker: Being infertile for 3 years makes you much more knowledgeable about conception and pregnancy than one might think.
Please don't tell me to try ovulation predictor kits, or have some certain tests. I've had more things shoveled up my vagina, peed on more tests, and swallowed more combinations of pills that you'd ever know. And if I haven't had said test, procedure or taken a certain medication it's probably because it cost a lot more money they you think it does. And no, my insurance does not cover it.