I have primary infertility. I've don't have any children, never been pregnant, never miscarried. Secondary infertility is when a couple has already conceived and carried to term. Usually it is someone that has had zero problems conceiving previous children but when they try for another child it just doesn't work. So they cross over to my side of the track. I don't want them on my side.
I don't really sympathize with secondary infertility because of the place I'm in now. Just one child would be considered a gift to me. If a person has already been given the gift, then why ask for more? Especially if taking fertility drugs and going through the procedures was required for additional children. I'm just one of those people that thinks to be happy with what I have, not complain about what I don't. I detest the complaining from those people, especially if it is all the feel bad for me crap. You were already given something that other people are still praying for. Be happy with the children you have.
If you've had IVF, etc. in the past to conceive and it was successfully, and want to do IVF for another child I have nothing wrong with that. It is your money and you already know how gratefully you are to just have one child. But it's those that have conceived all on their own perfectly the first time, but the second time comes around and they need help. It's like the whole world is coming down and one needs to complain to everyone else how hard it is.
I joined an online forum awhile ago for the particular fertility drug I'm on. I thought it would be a good idea to connect to other women in the same place as myself. I was wrong. Many of the women have secondary infertility (already have children) and have just gotten another BFP. The forum is more depressing than I though this week.
It even upsets me (but not as much) when fertiles talk about future children they plan on having. If only it were that easy. Oh what life would be like if I could plan everything out. Every day when I wake up and right before I fall asleep I hope this will be my day/cycle. That is all I can do.
PS I probably pissed a few people off with this post. It is just an opinion. With the shoes I'm wearing now this is how I view the world. I'm sure there is at least one other person out there that feels the way I do.
PS I probably pissed a few people off with this post. It is just an opinion. With the shoes I'm wearing now this is how I view the world. I'm sure there is at least one other person out there that feels the way I do.
I kinda understand. I always wanted five kids in a 10 year time span, and now I feel like I shouldn't even test fate bc I was lucky to get Natalie. But I can't help it. I grew up with a handicapped sister and a much much younger brother, and always wished I had a sibling I could connect with, and that's what I want for Natalie. Hitting her first birthday, this is the usual age when ppl begin thinking of number 2.
ReplyDeleteSo I sit in a limbo of wanting more, but not wanting to let myself want more bc I don't want to go down that route again. I make up reasons of why "waiting" is better than trying. But again I am thankful for my one. My husband also just wants one, so that kind of helps the situation HAHA I don't think he wants to go down that route again either
I have never met anyone who has the second time around infertility. Then again, I thought I was the only one left trying on the planet. Completely irrational, but surrounded by military baby booming, I swear it feels like it.
Eventually I met a girl who kept having miscarriages, and ironically, we got pregnant within a month of each other. She had a boy, and named him Nathaniel, which is pretty funny to me and Natalie HAHA
I do hope you find some one to connect with in your website though. It was nice to have a girl to rant with. We weren't exactly close, and still aren't, but it was def nice to vent on the newest announcement.
I'd say if you want another child but don't really want to try try, then just go off all BC and see what happens. Not sure if/what you are on now. I have zero interest in going back to BC, even after I have a child. I've even thought of the option of having an Hysterectomy/Oophorectomy after. Bean wants two kids. I'm going to see what happens with no prevention, most likely nothing like right now. But if it's meant to be and I end up PG naturally, then whatever.
ReplyDeleteMy special doc they sent me too thinks I should try a hormonal BC to get me regulated since PCOS seems to have gotten so off course again. I did that for 13 months in the middle of our trying years in the hopes of getting "normal" periods. It worked, and then another 13 months after getting off was when I got pregnant. But I can't start that BC while I'm breastfeeding. I told her that I will just suck it up and wait for Natalie to wean herself, bc it something did happen & we never got lucky again, I want to know I had my full baby time with Natalie, and never rushed her.
ReplyDeleteI have the special breastfeeding bc, but I suck at taking it, bc I'm like "Eh if my PCOS really is acting up, why bother?" And if I did somehow get pregnant again, well perfect HAHA
I've tired BC to regulate my cycle too but it's never worked. Then again I've never made it 13 months on estrogen birth control because I always get bad side effects. But even when on it I "forgot" to take it just hoping I become one of those people to get PG on BC.
ReplyDeleteHaha I used to do the same thing too, but then it'd mess me up. It was a stupid cycle [pun intended]
ReplyDeleteI went to my PCOS doc today. She thinks metformin is doing his thng insulin wise with my body. I was able to lose 4 pounds, and the other hormonal side effects have slowly been subsiding. Course I have also been training for a 10K, so someone normal probably would have lost like 10 HAHA Whatever though, it's a start & I'm losing.
She also had high hopes of me getting pregnant again. My uterus showed no cysts, but of course, I'd have to be cycling to get the cysts LOL But hey, like I said, it's a start!
Hopefully you can get some good news at your doccy this month too