Monday, May 30, 2011

The Last Infertile

Pregnancy is a race for an infertile.  We met great people along the way, some with the same problems as our own, some with completely different ones.  But our goal is to become pregnant and our fear is becoming the last infertile on the planet (because we already feel like we're the only non-pregnant one).  We also don't want to hurt the people we have met along the way.  

When someone tells me they are pregnant or even just talks about their pregnancy it if hard for me to feel happy for them.  I really want to.  But I come off as cold with no expression and I don't say congrats.  I don't know what to say.  All I can think is they are too young, or not married yet, or they don't have good enough jobs.  Or any other reason I could think of why it should have been myself first.  (And trust me I'll find one.)  But I don't say those things to their face.  Instead I say nothing.  And that works for me.  Eventually I will come around.  

I have a little bit more happiness to a fellow infertiles pregnancy announcement verse a fertiles.  But I have to admit I still get envious.  I don't want to be left behind anymore than the next person.

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