Thoughts on Becoming a Mother

There are women that become mothers without effort,

without thought, without patience or loss and though

they are good mothers and love their children,

I know that I will be just as good a mother.

It will be not because of genetics,

or money or that I have read more books but because I have

struggled and toiled for this child.

I have longed and waited. I have cried and prayed.

I have endured and planned over and over again.

Like most things in life, the people who truly have

appreciation are those who have struggled to attain their dreams.

I will notice everything about my child.

I will take time to watch my child sleep, explore and discover.

I will marvel at this miracle every day for the rest of my life.

I will be happy when I wake in the middle of the night

to the sound of my child, knowing that I can comfort,

hold and feed him and that I am not waking to take

another temperature, pop another pill, take another

shot or cry tears of a broken dream.

My dream will be crying for me.

I count myself blessed in this sense; that God has given

me this insight, this special vision with which I will

look upon my child that my friends will not see.

Whether I parent a child I actually give birth to or a

child that God leads me to, I will not be careless

with my love.

I will be a better mother for all that I have endured.

I am a better wife, a better aunt, a better daughter,

neighbor, friend and sister because I have known pain.

I know disillusionment as I have been betrayed by my

own body.

I have been tried by fire and hell many

never face, yet given time, I stood tall.

I have prevailed. I have succeeded. I have won.

So now, when others hurt around me, I do not run from

their pain in order to save myself discomfort.

I see it, mourn it, and join them in theirs.

I listen. And even though I cannot make it better,

I can make it less lonely.

I have learned the immense power of

another hand holding tight to mine, of other eyes that

moisten as they learn to accept the harsh truth and

when life is beyond hard. I have learned a compassion

that only comes with walking in those shoes.

I have learned to appreciate life.

Yes I will be a wonderful mother.

~Author Unknown

I saw the poem this morning on one of my Facebook groups for infertile military wives and thought I would share it.  If you are interested in joining the group: http://www.facebook.com/pages/Infertile-Military-Couples/181784725166855

-Selbe

CD20, 5dpo